Top 1200 Stupid Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 17

Some of the best jokes are about funerals or people dying or whatever. Laughter and tears are two sides of the same coin.

I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

Face it, you stupid little cookie maker,” Jenks said, almost sounding fond, “in the last couple of days you’ve seen what it’s like to be in a family, with all the touchy tempers and irritation that goes on. Now you get to see the other side, where we do stupid stuff for each other just because we like you. Rache is the little sister. Ivy’s the big sister. I’m the uncle from out of state, and you’re the rich nephew no one likes but we put up with you anyway because we feel sorry for you. Just let me help, huh? It won’t kill you.

When I make a film, the yardstick is my mind. If I laugh at the jokes and feel sad at the serious undersides, then the subject works.

We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.

My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I don't feel any pressure to stay big.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Comedy is so collaborative. You're going to come up with better jokes with people you like joking around with. It just makes sense.

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

Anyone who walks out on stage, whether he's eight or 80, they'll go, 'Oh, Alesha, he'd be good for you.' I'm the butt of the single jokes.

As an actor, it's always fun when you're able to feel like there's freedom to explore things and try out jokes and be funny.

The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.

People are attracted to entertainment, for sure, or jokes, excitement and romantically heightened stories that might be false, but are still attractive fantasies.

Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I tend to process stuff by making jokes about it. It's something that makes me annoying to be around in times of real crisis.

I had this laddish way about me, with my deep voice and telling jokes all the time; I was Burkey, the little fella in a skirt.

I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.

I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.

When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss, you're like, 'Eh.'

There are passages of the Bible that are soiled forever by the touches of the hands of ministers who delight in the cheap jokes they have left behind them.

What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.

People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard.

Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom.

Twitter taught me how to become better at writing jokes because it forces you to chip away at all the extraneous words.

I try not to rely on pop culture references as a crutch for jokes, because then, I think, that's when the timelessness quality is lost.

I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm actually in this inauthentic armor.

I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character.

Question Time' is a nice forum for reasoned political debate. There's no point having me on there trying to crack jokes.

On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.

Real life is hard. I'm sorry, but shopping at Tesco is not as much fun as writing jokes for TV shows, and I struggle with it.

I'd been writing jokes since I was 16, not very good ones though, but I was always trying to make my mates laugh.

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

I was a very bad accountant. I knew the book theory, but I didn't have the heart for it. I did it for six months, and my job was to distract the auditors with jokes.

The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff.

When you have a cast and crew of people who make it light hearted and crack jokes, and break treats, and understand that we are all in this together. That's a biggest plus that you can have.

I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.

jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible.

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand my jokes.

I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.

In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America.

What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

As a comedian who's used to, like, punching the jokes, it's hard to teach yourself that that's not the strong choice in the sense that you have to really have to dial it back.

You could waterboard me for days - for years - and I would still be cracking jokes about how bad Rachel Maddow is.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.

When I visited Chechnya, I was taken aback at first because people would regularly make jokes about kidnapping me.

Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.

Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

If you're going to document your own journey, the jokes work better in the first person, just like the stories do.

My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things.

The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

The reason of idleness and of crime is the deferring of our hopes. Whilst we are waiting, we beguile the time with jokes, with sleep, with eating, and with crimes.