Top 1200 Stupid Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 19

Irony is wasted on the stupid

You can be sincere and still be stupid.

I have nothing wrong with comics and writers poking fun at the President, as long as it's funny. When it's the same retread jokes with predictable punchlines, that's when it's offensive.

Of course I have regrets; I'm not stupid.

Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.

I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.

He who analyses blitz is stupid.

I keep to a minimum dialect, in-jokes about football (soccer) teams and soap opera characters, so as not to lose North American readers.

I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid.

The archenemy is the arch stupid!

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

I'm optimistic but I'm also not stupid.

Bob Baffert is not stupid.

The system isn't stupid, but the people in it are.

I'm scared of myself. I think I'd be a bad driver. I'm scared of cars, period. I've had too many friends killed now, and I've seen too many people killed in my life when I drove across the country when I was 12. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. If you see a few real dead bodies with brains on the pavement, it does a lot to change your attitude. It means you can get it too. I've had a lot of relatives killed. I've had a lot of dear friends killed. It's stupid. The whole activity is stupid.

You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.

Sin makes you stupid.

Unanimity is always stupid.

I made jokes about kissing Murphy Brown. But if that's what cost me my job, my wife will probably say, "Hey asshole, I told you so".

I may be ignorant but I ain't stupid!

I'm just physically stupid.

You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes.

Some comedians make a marvellous living doing material that is completely predictable, that reminds people of things that they already know or jokes that they are already familiar with.

I was feeling guilty in the beginning; it was frustrating to be successful when a lot of my friends weren't. Also, I was constantly being reminded of that by people in my family making jokes.

I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.

I'm kind of stupid when it comes to gadgets.

Baltimore has been a punchline/punching bag for years - I've landed a few blows, to be fair - but those old jokes are out of touch.

You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.

Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!

He turned away, and suddenly she thought about the old children's story, where the stupid girl opens the box that God gave her, and all the evils of the world fly out, except Hope, which stays at the bottom; and she wondered what Hope was doing in there in the first place, in with all the bad things. Then the answer came to her, and she wondered how she could've been so stupid. Hope was in there because it was evil too, probably the worst of them all, so heavy with malice and pain that it couldn't drag itself out of the opened box.

Can I still dunk... Are you stupid?

"Don't be stupid!" is excellent advice.

Stupid, fragile mortals.

Everyone speaks stupid.

I'm only a stupid filmmaker.

Be brave. Don't be afraid to be stupid.

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.

Love is an excuse to be stupid

Don't eat sugar. It's stupid.

You've gotta be slightly stupid.

Some rules are stupid.

You can only be stupid when you're young.

My best friend is disabled. There's nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That's the insult.

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.

I always say, my set is like building a brick wall that all the jokes are the bricks but the improv is the mortar. You piece it all together and have a certain flow to it.

There's no glamour in stupid mistakes.

We are all selfish, scared and stupid.

You have to be quite stupid to act.

If money weren't cool, pseudo-socialists like Bill Maher and Chelsea Handler would tell jokes for free in soup kitchens.

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

Sometimes the truth is stupid.

Fear is stupid. So are regrets.

If you think something's stupid, it probably is.

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

There's a million jokes about what's going on with Batman and Robin. It's a classic thing to call out the homoerotic nature of the men's adventure show.

People are just so stupid.

It's not that I'm so clever, it is that others are so stupid.

Alcohol makes you stupid.