Top 1200 Toilet Paper Quotes & Sayings

I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.

We buy our own toilet paper even here in the White House.

Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.

Carter pulled out several lengths of brown twine, a small ebony cat statue, and a thick roll of paper. No, not paper. Papyrus. I remember Dad explaining how the Egyptians made it from a river plant because they never invented paper. The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean.

For some reason, the only Swedish I know how to say is, 'There is no toilet paper.'

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

I cut coupons, love specials and believe in buying toilet paper and toothpaste in bulk. It's just who I am.

When I started as a color man in the booth with CBS, I would make footballs out of a roll of toilet paper.

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.

When you consider all the writers who never even had a machine. Who would have given an eyeball for a good typewriter. Any typewriter. All the ones who wrote on a matchbook covers. Paper bags. Toilet paper. Who had their writing destroyed by their jailers. Who persisted beyond all odds.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

How can you put on a meaningful drama when every fifteen minutes proceedings are interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits with toilet paper?

Never give an artist like me carte blanche: he would think it's simply toilet paper.

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.

I live with three boys, and I can't tell you how hard it is to get your hands on toilet paper. They steal it.

I really can't be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that's nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper.

Time kept on and on like the cheapest toilet paper.

As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to.

What I've come to find out is it doesn't matter if you're selling a $10,000 gown or toilet paper: The everyday sort of humdrum of customer service and retail is the same.

In captivity, one loses every way of acting over little details which satisfy the essentials of life. Everything has to be asked for: permission to go to the toilet, permission to ask a guard something, permission to talk to another hostage - to brush your teeth, use toilet paper, everything is a negotiation.

When you look at the sheer volume of paper usage in the U.S. alone, it's truly frightening: paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, writing paper. Our consumption of trees is endless.

The first beat that I ever made that I thought was actually worth a damn was called 'Toilet Paper Nostrils,' and I made it when I had a cold. I had the worst cold ever. And I had toilet-paper nostrils making music, but it was really reflective of how I felt. It was a really sad trumpet sound.

House Republicans are flimsier than toilet paper, except toilet paper actually has use. They're so pathetic.

The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out.

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

I never saw the light of day at Bouley. I remember I would bring home a roll of toilet paper a week because we got paid so little, if at all.

The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper.

Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.

Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

Our forests are not for toilet paper. They are worth more standing than cut. That deserves to be defended, not only by native peoples but also by environmentalists.

If we all had all we wanted to eat, we'd crap too much. We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.

The burden of keeping three people in toilet paper seemed to me rather a heavy one.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.

When I was about 7 years old, I built a leprechaun trap out of a cardboard box, a biscuit tin and some toilet paper tubes.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.

Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.

One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.

I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities - I'm proven to be good. I've still got 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years left.

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.

If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper.

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

If you look at the end of a roll of toilet paper, like the brown paper tube, I basically worked in a factory that made humongous ones like that - for concrete or anything you wanted to put in there. I was the guy who chopped those up into smaller pieces, put them in a box, throw it in a pallet, wrap it up, jump in a forklift and put it on a truck.

You can't put toilet paper in the toilet [in the space ship], so there's a separate vacuum can in front of you on the wall and when you're done, you put the toilet paper in there and seal that up.

Life before toilet paper was not worth living.

My mother always told me, 'I didn't make a perfume or go sell toilet paper. I did something good with my name.'

Hate American toilets with only toilet paper and no bidets.

I was given some designer colors for ink pens a long time ago and I haven't used them, and I have some handmade paper, and I just have the desire to drip on wet paper. It reminds me of when I was seven years old and had my tonsils out, and one of the first artworks I made was on toilet paper with a colored pencil; it was sort of half paint and half colored pencil. But I got very involved with color and absorption and I think, you know, 78 is a good time to go back to the beginning.