Top 1200 Toilet Paper Quotes & Sayings - Page 6

Before I got in the UFC, I wrote down on a piece of paper a goal that I was going to make it to the UFC in 2015 and then I'll be the world champion before 2017 so I'm right on track. I pull out that piece of paper all the time and look at it. It's motivation.

If a life goes down the toilet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.

Think of the aged and bed-ridden Matisse cutting out strips of coloured paper, much as a child might, and investing them with a more than mortal vitality... Those strips of paper resonate because they prove that our materials don't determine in advance the worth of what we make.

She decides to make a list of the things that make her happy. She writes 'plum-blossom' at the top of a piece of paper. Then she stares at the paper, unable to think of anything else. Eventually it begins to get dark.

Here in the Netherlands there are towns that take part in the throwing of toilet bowls for a laugh.

I don't believe in writer's block. Think about it - when you were blocked in college and had to write a paper, didn't it always manage to fix itself the night before the paper was due? Writer's block is having too much time on your hands.

Imitating paper isn't the goal; the goal is surpassing paper.

What I say is that there are not half a dozen papers in the United States which tamper with the news, which publish what they know to be false. But if I thought I had done no better than that, I would be ashamed to own a paper. You have to make everyone connected with the paper believe that accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

"I think we'll have a good potato crop this year," a newspaper editor told his housekeeper one morning. "No such thing," asserted the housekeeper. "I think the crop will be poor." Ignoring her remark, the editor caused to be inserted in the evening paper his estimate of the crop situation. That night when he returned home he found the housekeeper waiting for him with a sheepish grin on her face and a copy of the paper in her hand. "I was wrong," she said apologetically. "It says right here in the paper that the crop will be excellent this fall."

Writing is simple. First you have to make sure you have plenty of paper... sharp pencils... typewriter ribbon. Then put your belly up to the desk... roll a sheet of paper into the typewriter... and stare at it until beads of blood appear on your forehead.

She cleans a toilet inside and out under a minute. More like terrifying

What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.

I've fixed the toilet. And I've been crawling in claustrophobic places... you have to deal with that when you become a homeowner.

In English, I never did the reading when it was assigned. If a paper was due on Friday, my attitude was, read half the book on Tuesday, the second half on Wednesday, and write the paper Thursday night. Sometimes, I'd just read the Cliff's Notes and skip the book altogether.

I'd rather clean my toilet than go to a show-business party.

The most work he did on [the urinals] was to run a brush once or twice apiece, singing some song as loud as he could in time to the swishing brush; then he'd splash in some Clorox and he'd be through. ... And when the Big Nurse...came in to check McMurphy's cleaning assignment personally, she brought a little compact mirror and she held it under the rim of the bowls. She walked along shaking her head and saying, "Why, this is an outrage... an outrage..." at every bowl. McMurphy sidled right along beside her, winking down his nose and saying in answer, "No; that's a toilet bowl...a TOILET bowl.

I'd love to claim that what I have done in my life is of my doing, but it's not of my doing at all. I've blown around in the wind like a mad thing, influenced by this and that - like a piece of paper: like the boy in that scene in 'American Beauty' watching a piece of paper blowing hither and thither.

Maybe you could be a great writer - maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper - but you might not know it until you write that English paper - that English class paper that's assigned to you.

I can explain to you in detail just how a tree can be made into paper. But I've always wondered - and hoped - that someday, someone would help me discover how paper can be made back into a tree.

I don't know how much money I've got. I did ask the accountant how much it came to. I wrote it down on a bit of paper. But I've lost the bit of paper.

I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.

Even if you got rid of paper, you would still have story-tellers. In fact, you had the story-tellers before you had the paper.

No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders.

My biggest fear is the ocean. It's a great big, powerful sea toilet.

I find that with any good run on a show with good writers, they put something on paper, and you put something back on film, and that affects what they put on the paper the next time.

There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet.

If there's anything I love after my wife and my kids, it's my toilet. I am king there.

Literature has nothing to do with usefulness; the most useful place in any house is the toilet.

So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet.

The HoLee model was the first term structure model. I remember reading their paper soon after it was published and as it was fairly different from many of the other papers that I had read, I had to read it quite a few times. I realized that it was a really important paper.

E-readers are uninspired. They're slabs of plastic with fiddly controls and display a badly-formatted, typographically impoverished rendering of a paper book. That's not the electronic book I want. I want a gorgeous physical object, with paper pages, that can transform into any story I choose, perfectly presented on the page.

With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.

One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor.

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

Ink and paper are as cheap as sand or water, almost. No board of directors has to convene in order to decide whether we can afford to write down this or that. I myself once staged the end of the world on two pieces of paper- at a cost of ...less than a penny, including wear and tear on my typewriter ribbon and the seat of my pants. 'Think of that.

Each memory is like a paper flower stowed up a magician's sleeve: invisible one moment and then so substantial and florid the next I cannot imagine how it stayed hidden all this time. And like those paper flowers, once they've been let loose in the world, the memories are impossible to tuck away again.

If I'm not in an environment where I can record, it's great to be able to write something down, to be able to know how to do that, to be able to write notation. You grab a piece of paper and there it is. It's the cheapest recording equipment you can buy: a piece of manuscript paper and a pencil!

I do think sometimes there's danger in guest appearance mania. I've seen too many examples that sound cool on paper, like 'Oh, get that guy to sing the hook on that guy's song,' and then that's all it is. It's a cool idea that sounds good on paper.

When Bach died some of his children sold his scores to the butcher they had decided the paper was more useful for wrapping meat. In a small village in Germany a father brought home a limp goose wrapped in paper that was covered with strange and beautiful symbols.

If you trade in paper, the notion of many who trade gold - the Ayn Randers - if the financial world comes to an end, they're going to have the gold. If you're playing in ETFs, you're going to have a piece of paper.

I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.'

I can't see myself ever spending hundreds of thousands on anything that doesn't come with a toilet.

I never settled because I wasn't meant to pack toilet rolls or stack shelves.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

All I liked to do when I was a kid was draw. My childhood was like my adult life: drawing pictures with my brother, putting the comics up on the glass window, and tracing the characters onto tracing paper or drawing paper and then coloring them. That and making things was all we ever did.

I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland.

I believe that every paper in the country should have one headline that when you read it, you laugh so hard you can't stand it. It has to be that way. What about a headline like this: 'Hippo Eats Dwarf'? How good is that? You read that headline, and you immediately close the paper and say, 'Wow, it's gonna be a great day.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

It had run as a column - I had worked at the paper since 1976, but the column had been running for 13 years, and I think it was a strong column, criticizing the war when the paper was supporting it.

We really invented the genre of tracing family trees and going back as far as we could on the paper trail. When the paper trail disappeared, we used DNA analysis. The technology was just being invented that allowed you to trace ancestry through DNA.

In politics, you're like a toilet seat: you're up one day and down the next.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.