Top 1200 Tonight Show Quotes & Sayings

The old Johnny Carson 'Tonight Show' was great in that he was so good with the guests, and it was not about him. I think he was very smart in realizing 'I have plenty of screentime on this show. I do my monologue and we do sketches and stuff like that.' During the interview, he really made it about trying to bring the best thing out of the guest.

The appearance on 'The Tonight Show' was one thing, but the YouTube afterlife was incredible.

Right after the show tonight, I'm going to the New York City car show. You get to see the models that will be crashed next year by drunken Secret Service agents.

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead.

In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.

People don't know this, but early in your career, you don't just glide on to The Tonight Show.

You know, back when I was a kid who wanted to be in show business, everybody on TV wore nice clothes. They were very glamorous when they would be on the 'Tonight Show.' All the dudes wore suits and ties and that just seemed like real show business to me.

I've been on the 'Tonight Show' a million times, and I'd be embarrassed to do the same thing more than once.

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'

I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job.

THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY MATERIAL BUT THEN AGAIN THERE'S NO SIGN ON MY COMEDY EVENT THAT SAYS "REVIVAL HERE TONIGHT". IM SURE GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN GO TO MY 8 OCLOCK OMAHA SHOW. THE SHOW IS THE SHOW AND CHURCH IS CHURCH.

I've got a room at the top of the world tonight. I can see everything tonight.

As scary as it is, we have to admit that there are folks in the world who only know the Roots as 'the band on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.''

Yes, I'm supposed to go back to New York to do Geraldo, and we're going to be doing The Tonight Show.

Well folks, that's about it for the show tonight.

Stay here tonight, Jacqueline. I need to keep you here, at least tonight. Please.

When I got a call from Los Angeles to do the Tonight Show, I considered it more of an inconvenience than an opportunity.

And so tonight we're going to make the lie true, and when that's done, I'll bring the liquor back here and we'll get drunk together, here, tonight, in this place that death has come into...

That's why I had to leave Hair on Broadway, because I did it for about a year, and one night I was doing the show, and I realized, well, this is not real. I told the director. He says, man, it was a killer show tonight.

I think all of this—The Roots and DJing included—was meant to prepare me for The Tonight Show.

Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show.

There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the "Hippie Dippie Weatherman" on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. "Forecast for tonight? Dark."

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night. Tonight there will be no morning star.

We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.

My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak?

I can be on the Tonight Show, but not with Johnny [Carson]. He uses my name in his monologue all the time.

Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So it's very important tonight that I express that everybody who works at our comedy show, all of us are terribly sad for the families and people of France and anybody in the world tonight who now has to think twice before making a joke. It's not the way it's supposed to be.

You knew the sweetness of now, now, TONIGHT! who cares for tomorrow, tomorrow is nothing, yesterday is over and done, tonight live, tonight!

Dream tonight of peacock tails, Diamond fields and spouter whales. Ills are many, blessing few, But dreams tonight will shelter you.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

I didn't realize how many people watched 'The Tonight Show.'

If I have to die tonight,if this weight is going to kill me tonight,so be it! I am dying where I wanna be

I grew up watching 'The Tonight Show' and Jimmy Fallon on 'SNL.'

Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.

I had to find a way to get off the streets because it was too windy. So I started organizing variety shows of street performers. I would rent a hall, cafe or bar so I could put on a show. I did that for years before the 'Tonight Show With Johnny Carson' heard about this odd thing I did with bubbles.

I don't wanna wrestle Big Show tonight because I'm scared that he's gonna eat me!

I've performed on 'The Tonight Show' with both Johnny Carson and Jay Leno, but not at the same time.

Tonight I'll dust myself off, tonight I'll suck my gut in, I'll face the night and I'll pretend I got something to believe in.

I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of thing. But I'm open to whatever is done well. I don't have any agenda. I'm not like Fugazi - I'm not trying to be just so punk rock until I die. Whatever is funny is good.

This is The Tonight Show. I can't tell you too much about it, other than the fact that this program is going to go on forever.

I remember seeing Letterman do stand-up on 'The Tonight Show.' Or, it's probably more accurate to say, I remember hearing him do stand-up, because the Carson show existed mainly as sound leaking under my bedroom door at night. I'd hear Johnny telling jokes and my dad laughing at them.

I got a call from my mom today, she says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get the 'Tonight Show' again.'

I have some very special guests tonight, and I would like to give a big welcome to the Wayne State men and women's rugby team for coming to the game tonight and to be on my TV Show

I still sweat bullets if I go on The Tonight Show, but I tell myself, You can either have fun tonight or you can be shy and miserable. You ask my friends or anyone I work with now - nobody would say I was shy.

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that.

I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'

I'm always so nervous when I have to do interviews or be on 'The Tonight Show' or the 'Oprah' show, where I have to be myself. I don't know why that's such a big deal - being yourself. But for some reason, I feel good in a dark room talking to actors about acting, doing acting. I like sitting backstage watching people work.

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.

On 'Idol,' you have to show off your vocal abilities, so I stuck to the ballads, so I'm glad my first single is 'Tonight' so I can show off my fun, young side, and what I want to do as an artist.

In masks and gown we haunt the street And knock on doors for trick or treat Tonight we are the king and queen, For oh tonight it's Halloween!

Who is your opponent tonight, tonight I am playing against the Black pieces

I gave up my base in popular culture when I left the Tonight Show.

I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

God, I feel like hell tonight. Tears of rage I cannot fight. I'd be the last to help you understand... Nothing's true and nothing's right so let me be alone tonight 'cause you can't change the way I am... I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go. It's try and love me if you can. Are you strong enough to be my man? When I've shown you that I just don't care, when I'm throwing punches in the air, when I'm broken down and I can't stand will you be man enough to be my man?

It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa.

Yeah, I had a talk show canceled. Okay, let's go back to the list of people who had talk shows canceled. Johnny Carson had his first talk show canceled. Jon Stewart. Letterman. Conan O'Brien, if you look at 'The Tonight Show' as a show that got canceled.

I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it.

Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor.

For the twenty million Americans who are hungry tonight, for the homeless freezing tonight, literature is as useless as a knowledge of astronomy.