Top 1200 Two And A Half Men Quotes & Sayings

Britney Spears' album Blackout is one of the hottest-selling CDs in the country. We're in a bad place, people: The world is melting, we're at war, and Two and a Half Men is a huge hit.

You have an hour and a half or two hours - maybe two and a half hours - in a movie, and it has to be a self-contained three-act structure. It's like a rock and roll song. Certain things have to happen for it to be a toe-tapper and get people excited, leaving the theater.

I'm on 'Two and a Half Men,' and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it, and filling your head with filth.

If marriage can be redefined so that it no longer means a man and a woman but two men or two women, why stop there? Why not allow three men or a woman and two men to constitute a marriage?

We cannot have a society half slave and half free; nor can we have thought half slave and half free. If we create an atmosphere in which men fear to think independently, inquire fearlessly, express themselves freely, we will in the end create the kind of society in which men no longer care to think independently or to inquire fearlessly.

I've been going absolutely insane! I've two kids, two-and-a-half and one-and-a-half at home.

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

I would love to do the therapist on 'Two and a Half Men' again or just work with Charlie Sheen.

Women now make up approximately half of the workforce - very positive. Two-thirds of all families are either headed by a single-head of household or two working parents, and particularly in this economically challenging time, that second income is more important than ever. However, women are still only earning 75 percent of what men are earning.

Christmas traditions are important in my family. Being half English and half Polish-Lithuanian, we have two separate celebrations.

Imaan is of two halves; half is patience (Sabr) and half is being thankful (Shukr).

I always wanted to be a zookeeper when I was growing up, and I've wound up a zookeeper! I've been working with the Los Angeles Zoo for 45 years! I'm the luckiest old broad on two feet because my life is divided absolutely in half - half animals and half show business. You can't ask for better than two things you love the most.

When you do a half-hour show, there's only so much you can do. At best, you're going to get a character with two-and-a-half dimensions.

No two men ever judged alike of the same thing, and it is impossible to find two opinions exactly similar, not only in different men but in the same men at different times.

It is possible, reading standard histories, to forget half the population of the country. The explorers were men, the landholders and merchants men, the political leaders men, the military figures men. The very invisibility of women, the overlooking of women, is a sign of their submerged status.

When I was a child, the Earth was said to be two billion years old. Now scientists say it's four and a half billion. So that makes me two and a half billion.

I think 'Hollow City' only took a year and a half to write... but it felt like two and a half!

In the younger days of the Republic there lived in the county of - two men, who were admitted on all hands to be the very best men In the county; which, in the Georgia vocabulary, means they could flog any other two men in the county.

I like to play in the deep register. I was never a high-note specialist. My range goes from the bottom of the horn up to around C or D. High D is about it for me ... about two-and-a-half octaves, I think. But in these two-and-a-half octaves, I can say everything I have to say.

There is nothing by which men display their character so much as in what they consider ridiculous... Fools and sensible men are equally innocuous. It is in the half fools and the half wise that the great danger lies.

Men should only believe half of what women say. But which half?

If I could rest anywhere, it would be in Arkansas, where the men are of the real half-horse, half-alligator breed such as grows nowhere else on the face of the universal earth.

I've been watching 'Two and a Half Men.' That's my number one. Then 'Gossip Girl' and '90210.'

The Bolsheviks could not have retained power for two and a half months, let alone two and a half years, without the most rigorous and truly iron discipline in our Party.

How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

It’s called Two and a Half Men,” Dermot was telling his guest. “I understand,” Bellenos said. “Because the two brothers are grown, and the son isn’t.” “I think so,” Dermot said. “Don’t you think the son is useless?” “The half? Yes. At home, we’d eat him,” Bellenos said.

Most men spend the first half of their lives making the second half miserable.

Think back to the early rock n' roll records, and the average record length in the '50s - and well into the '60s - was two and a half minutes. It's very hard to put that much songwriting into two and a half minutes.

Not only is the Napoleonic dream stronger today in our imaginations than it has ever been, but one can already feel the slow falling away of moral opprobrium from our memory of Hitler. In another fifty years we may well find ourselves weighed down by a second monstrous dream of pure grandeur to match that of the Emperor. Two men who dared. Two men who were adored. Two men who led with brilliance. Two men who administered fairly and efficiently. Two men who were modest in their own needs but surrounded by lesser beings who profited from their situation and came between the Hero and the people.

I can't do any more 'Peep Show' because of my loyalties in Los Angeles to 'Two And A Half Men,' so I'm staying put there for the moment. I'm loving life is L.A. at the moment - I'm out there for work, as that is where the jobs are.

When you say 'revolution' when you have only men outside, you know that something is going wrong. I'm not like a hardcore feminist, but I think that one of the things that makes the society advanced is equality between men and women. If half of the society is oppressed by the other half, it's not fine.

But fear is confusing. It tears you in two. Half of you wants to run far, far away, but the other half is paralyzed, frozen, immovable. And the hard part is that you never know which half is going to win.

My daily breakfast is two poached eggs in the morning with half an avocado, and I get to have half a piece of toast.

I come from a town in Washington state that might not be too familiar to Clevelanders called Chelan. It's really beautiful. It's about two-and-a-half hours east of Seattle and two-and-a-half hours west of Spokane. It's right in the middle of the state.

Two half-truths do not make a truth, and two half- cultures do not make a culture

Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a 'Jew ki**' and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy. If you could do that and keep your job, then everybody would do it.

How, then, can the rights of three men exceed the rights of two men? In what possible way can the rights of three men absorb the rights of two men, and make them as if they had never existed.

ATHENA: There are two sides to this dispute. I've heard only one half the argument. (...) So you two parties, summon your witnesses, set out your proofs, with sworn evidence to back your stories. Once I've picked the finest men in Athens, I'll return. They'll rule fairly in this case, bound by a sworn oath to act with justice.

The misdeeds of ordinary men can be buried with them, and their lives described in half-truths that are really half-lies. But not a public man. Particularly not this one.

Man has here two and a half minutes-one to smile, one to sigh, and a half to love: for in the midst of this minute he dies.

Dreamers are half-way men of thought, and men of thought are half-way men of action.

The real issue is not whether two and two make four or whether two and two make five, but whether life advances by men who love words or by men who love living.

No half measures. Some things can’t be cut in half. You can’t half-love someone. You can’t half-betray, or half-lie.

We TiVo 'Two and a Half Men' because it's our favorite show.

Jake from 'Two and a Half Men' means nothing. He is a non-existent character.

A new study finds that women use their whole brain when listening and men only use half of their brain. You see, men use the other half of their brain to come up with excuses. I don't think women use their whole brain when listening. I think they use half of it and the other half is used to memorize what men are saying so they can use it against them 10 years later!

So far is it from being true that men are naturally equal, that no two people can be half an hour together, but one shall acquire an evident superiority over the other.

One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.

A crumb is a great thing: If you break a crumb in half, you don't get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Doesn't that violate some law of physics?

Human kind is made up of two sexes, women and men. Is it possible that a mass is improved by the improvement of only one part and the other part is ignored? Is it possible that if half of a mass is tied to earth with chains and the other half can soar into skies?

Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on 'Two and Half Men' with whom I have worked and over the past ten years who have become an extension of my family.

Our aspirations are really for women to be in half the leadership roles and men to be doing half the work of parenting.

If two men or two women can marry, then there is no way a court could deny three men and two women or any combination thereof.

What you don't want is just to say, 'All showrunners need to be half women and half men,' because then, for men and women, you could get inexperienced people doing those jobs, failing, and then not getting the opportunity to do them again.

Everybody has noticed the way cats stop and loiter in a half-open door. Hasn't everyone said to a cat: For heavens sake why don't you come in? With opportunity half-open in front of them, there are men who have a similar tendency to remain undecided between two solutions, at the risk of being crushed by fate abruptly closing the opportunity. The overprudent, cats as they are, and because they are cats, sometimes run more danger than the bold

If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I'm on Two and a Half Men and I don't want to be on it. Please stop watching it. Please stop filling your head with filth.

Numerically, half of our high-ranking government officials should be women, and half should be men. And yet the division between the sexes is highly disproportionate in favour of men.

I think if a girl who liked 'Party Down' found out that her boyfriend liked 'Two and a Half Men,' she would break up with him.

A tree there is that from its topmost bough Is half all glittering flame and half all green Abounding foliage moistened with the dew; And half is half and yet is all the scene; And half and half consume what they renew.

Lips half-willing in a doorway. Lips half-singing at a window. Eyes half-dreaming in the walls. Feet half-dancing in a kitchen. Even the clocks half-yawn the hours And the farmers make half-answers.