Top 1200 Wise Ass Quotes & Sayings

People in college, if you're getting recognized for getting good grades, you're finally famous. If you get recognized for playing the drums, if you're being recognized for making good ass beats, good ass raps, good ass interviews like this one, you're finally famous.

Wise kings generally have wise counselors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one.

Anyone can see that an ass laden with books remains a donkey. A human being laden with the undigested results of a tussle with thoughts and books, however, still passes for wise.

There isn’t anything good to say about Kick-Ass 2, the even more witless, mirthless follow-up to Kick-Ass.

There is a lot of territory out there still to explore TV-wise, show-wise, movie-wise, everything.

Mindful of the fact you live in an agricultural country, I presume you know what an ass is. We read in the New Testament that our blessed Lord rode on an ass in triumph into the city of Jerusalem. Today the Lord rides on another ass: I myself.

The idea of let's all share the pain equally, or let's freeze salaries altogether - it's ass-backwards. It's absolutely ass-backwards.

I doubt very greatly, however, that you'll kick my ass. But me and my ass will enjoy your efforts.

Cato used to assert that wise men profited more by fools than fools by wise men; for that wise men avoided the faults of fools, but that fools would not imitate the good examples of wise men.

As in 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff'?" The skull howled with laughter. "You just got your ass handed to you by a nursery tale?""I wouldn't say they handed me my ass," I said.Bob was nearly strangling on his laughter, and given that he had no lungs it seemed gratuitous somehow. "That's because you can't see yourself," he choked out. "Your nose is all swollen up and you've got two black eyes. You look like a raccoon. Holding a dislocated ass.

You have never seen greatness in a Presidency; I have. It was a rich kid who you would think had every reason to be a horse's ass - Franklin Roosevelt. He was humane and wise and resourceful. He was called a traitor to his class. With George Bush, that charge would never stick.

Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.

The Wright Amendment is a pain in the ass, but not every pain in the ass is a constitutional infringement.

THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

I would love to be an Avenger or Wonder Woman. Pretty much any woman who can kick ass and take names, I am down! I have also always wanted to be a sultry mermaid or a bad ass fairy.

Learn the words of wisdom uttered by the wise and apply them in your own life. Live them - but do not a make a show of reciting them, for he who repeats what he does not understand is no better than an ass loaded with books.

Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned

When somebody is determined to whup your ass, without regard to any concern for what is fair, you must recognize that the only alternative is to whup his ass by whatever means or methods are available.

Let The Rock understand this, he beats your ass in cage match last week and now your the number 1 contender? Well The Rock knows exactly why that is; you've got a three foot nose you turn it sideways and stick it straight up Vince's ass!

Kyle Busch is going to get his ass whipped shortly I hope. He better sit his ass in his motor home or I’m going to come find him and he’s going to have to hold my watch because I’m going to whip his ass. He’s the biggest whining little piece of [expletive] I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

Joan of Arc should be played as a "pain in the ass" and how do I know she was a "pain in the ass"? ... because they burn her at the end.

The wise are not wise because they make no mistakes. They are wise because they correct their mistakes as soon as they recognize them.

By outward show let's not be cheated; An ass should like an ass be treated.

You have never seen greatness in a Presidency; I have. It was a rich kid who you would think had every reason to be a horse's ass - Franklin Roosevelt. He was humane and wise and resourceful. He was called a traitor to his class.

I’m about to enter a national ass-kicking contest. With no legs. And a massive ass.

Every November, during the certain holiday people love so much, people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread. Somebody else’s dead empty bacteria-laden ass to make bread? Ass bread?! And people think vegans are weird? Because we eat tofu? And rice, and beans, and lentils?

I find that with period pieces, you're sort of able to really take advantage of what's around you because prop-wise, wardrobe-wise and location-wise, it's all so specific due to that time.

There never could be a man so brave that he would not sometime, or in the end, turn part or all coward; or so wise that he was not, from beginning to end, part ass if you knew where to look; or so good that nothing at all about him was despicable.

I was looking in the mirror today and my waist is still 28 inches. I think it's all because I have a large bosom and a large ass. I have a large ass and it always just looks like I'm bigger than the rest of the girls. I could lose 20 pounds and I'm still going to have these knockers and I'm going to have this ass, and that's just the way it is.

It is ignorance that is at times incomprehensible to the wise; for instance, he may not see 'the positive person' or 'the negative person' in a black and white way as many people do. A wise man may not understand it because, as a catalyst of wisdom, but not wise in his own eyes, even he can learn from and give back to fools. To think that an individual has absolutely nothing to offer to the table is counter-intuitively what the wise man considers to be 'the ignorance of hopelessness'.

Although an ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden; he is unmindful of cold and heat; and he is always contented; these three things should be learned from the ass.

Be wise, because the world needs more wisdom. And if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.

I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?

I'm very positive - music-wise, production-wise and life-wise.

When I got a chance to rap, I just busted my ass. When I got a chance to act, I busted my ass. Anytime I get a chance. I'm not wasting time. I won't do it if I'm not doing it 110 percent. You've got to work hard if you want to play hard. I like to play, but I know I gotta bust my ass.

When that fire hit your ass, it will sober your ass up quick! I saw something, I went, Well, that's a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like... FIRE! Fire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics, because I ran the 100 in 4.3.

Basically, that's why I wrote: to save my ass, to save my ass from the madhouse, from the streets, from myself.

Yes I have a belt. I wear big pants because my ass is huge. So I can't go to a store by off the rack a size that is appropriate for my waist because they don't fit my ass!

There's one thing you're [John Cena] better at than I am, and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good as kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was.

When you go to a club it's not about being black or white or heavy or thick. I'm shaking my ass because I want to shake my ass, not 'cause "I'm dancing like a black girl!"

You know, before when (the police went) to work, they used to be like, 'I'm gonna kick somebody's ass today and so I hope I can catch somebody in a bad situation or breaking the law, because I'm gonna beat someone's ass in a big way, I think that attitude has changed.

I listen to a lot of different kind of music. A lot of weird-ass music, like weird-ass, old Portishead.

Some [actors] are really a pain in the ass today. I held out on getting an assistant forever because I didn't want to seem demanding... or like a pain in the ass. I didn't want someone working for me to hate me.

You can say "ass," but you can't say "asshole." That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an "ass." Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.

I was born wise. Street-wise, people-wise, self-wise. This wisdom was my birthright.

Sometimes it seems like this is the choice - either kick ass or kiss ass.

The wise man is wise in vain who cannot be wise to his own advantage. [Lat., Nequicquam sapere sapientem, qui ipse sibi prodesse non quiret.]

You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.

You can't take the heat, get ya ass out the kitchen Matter fact, take ya ass back in there and wash the dishes.

A wise quote can only change a wise man! Therefore, wise sayings are for the wise men, not for the fools! The sunflowers turn their face toward the Sun, the fools, toward the darkness!

Incidentally, the next time some war-mongering wise-ass tries to tell you that one reason we're in the Middle East is to enhance the civil rights and social equality of women, remind them that we very enthusiastically destroyed the most secular country over there, where women could dress as they liked, have good jobs, be literate, and vote.

A man searching for enlightenment is like a man sitting on an Ass in search of an Ass

People think, 'Wow, you're an actress, so people must be really nice to you and kiss your ass.' NOBODY kisses my ass.

Far best is he who is himself all-wise, and he, too, good who listens to wise words; But whoso is not wise or lays to hear another's wisdom is a useless man.

Much has seen said of the wisdom of old age. Old age is wise, I grant, for itself, but not wise for the community. It is wise in declining new enterprises, for it has not the power nor the time to execute them; wise in shrinking from difficulty, for it has not the strength to overcome it; wise in avoiding danger, for it lacks the faculty of ready and swift action, by which dangers are parried and converted into advantages. But this is not wisdom for mankind at large, by whom new enterprises must be undertaken, dangers met, and difficulties surmounted.

I'm going to write a book someday and the title will be I'm an Ass, You're an Ass. That's the most liberating, wonderful thing in the world, when you openly admit you're an ass. It's wonderful. When people tell me, You're wrong I say, What can you expect of an ass?

Home is where your ass is and if you want to move you move your ass the first step is learning to change homes with someone else and have someone else's ass.

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.

Wise leaders generally have wise counselors because it takes a wise person themselves to distinguish them.

We are the wise. Do not envy us— We who are too wise to draw near the fire Lest we get burned; We who are too wise to love Lest love should vanish and we be hurt. We are the wise. Do not envy us our wisdom— We who are too wise to live Lest we should die.