Top 505 Witty One Liners Quotes & Sayings - Page 3

Nothing is more witty and grotesque than ancient mythology and Christianity; that is because they are so mystical.

I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints.

I didn't even realize I was writing songs - I thought I was just being witty and sarcastic.

Grave authors say, and witty poets sing, That honest wedlock is a glorious thing.

To have money is to be virtuous, honest, beautiful and witty And to be without is to be ugly and boring and stupid and useless.

I have hundreds of Word documents filled with pages of one-liners. If I begin to write a story, or if one of my thoughts leads to more than a couple paragraphs of writing, I'll go into these documents and pull out lines that I think would work with it.

All my brothers and sisters are really witty, and I would just sit back and enjoy them.

In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

I need to not be typecast as big, black, and dumb but be seen as an intelligent, witty, bold, and charismatic person.

If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!

If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty.

I think of myself as a theatre comic instead of club comic because I tend to talk for a bit before I start being funny. I don't really do the one-liners and five second bits or whatever. But it's good to work stuff out sometimes.

I'm not a confrontational person or comedian. I think we can explore more things if one of us is not fighting with the other. I take it easy. But I do like comedians who are very different from myself: I love dry comics with deadpan one-liners. I look on and think, 'That's amazing; why didn't I think of that?'

Pickup lines never work...I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.

I think the sea swallowed dozens of tea sets - tossed in abandon off liners or consigned to the tide by jilted brides. I collected a shiver of china bits, with borders of larkspur and birds or braids of daisies. No two patterns ever matched.

I think there are hard-liners inside of Iran that think it is the right thing to do to oppose us, to seek to destroy Israel, to cause havoc in places like Syria or Yemen or Lebanon, if they don't change at all, we're still better off having the deal.

I don't believe any experiment until it is confirmed by theory. I find this is a witty inversion of "conventional" wisdom.

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any girl who isn't me today.

The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't know.

My music is basically all about witty punchlines and lyric progression that is aimed to make you laugh or say "Woah."

If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

I like Kendrick as an artist. He's witty and he's smart when he's spitting in his lyrics. And he's crafty.

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination. Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism.

Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty and it shan't be long.

I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we're never that funny.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I suspect the soviets never did want to use those bombs. The most Stalinist of Soviet hard-liners - Stalin, for example - must have realized a nuclear war would be a hard thing to clean up after.

A witty illustration or an apt story will accomplish more than columns of argument.

People are clever, but almost no one ever devises an optimal quip precisely at the needed moment. Therefore, virtually all great one-liners are later inventions - words that people wished they had spouted, but failed to manufacture at the truly opportune instant.

Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are.

In major studio scripts, the girls are very similar. They're all witty and hot. I'm more of an oddball.

Most of my mannerisms come from my Mum, who is quite a funny, witty, chatty person. My Dad was very shy.

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation.

Talking to oneself, I have often thought, is the best way to be sure of intelligent and witty conversation.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

New York City gritty committee pity the fool that act shitty in the midst of the calm, the witty.

I know the bestseller 'Gone Girl' doesn't need an ounce of support from me, but that book was as sharp and witty as they come.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

In comedy, the witty style wins out over every mishap of the plot.

The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.

There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.

It never felt real to me. I never felt I had complete ownership over Bond. Because you'd have these stupid one-liners - which I loathed - and I always felt phony doing them.

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

Stephen Sondheim is calculus for actors. The words are witty and brilliant and profound but complicated.

Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty.

You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.

Witty closing remarks have been replaced by massive head trauma and severe hemorrhaging.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

In its brief 14-episode run, 'Firefly' gave viewers as much chance of witnessing a horseback chase or train robbery as a laser gun and spacefight in any given episode. Snappy one-liners and silly hats were a constant, of course.

Unapologetically, absent me, there is no Deadpool. Period. I am the name, the costume, the look, the origin, and the attitude. Great one-liners are the result of other writers. But there's no Deadpool at all in existence without me.

If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

I want to do it all. I want to climb mountains, go through jungles, fight wars in space, get the girl, shoot the bad-guy full of lead, have all the zippy one liners, bulge muscles out of a singlet, drip sweat and blood on screen, all of that.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

I am so frickin' cool and delicious and pretty and witty and sharp! I love every inch of me! Who wouldn't?