Top 505 Witty One Liners Quotes & Sayings - Page 4

It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President....Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been....I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him.

Facebook, I'm learning, is like a man. You have to be smiley and fun and witty but sometimes you have to play it cool and just ignore it for a couple of hours.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

After New York, Chicago is my favorite city. It's just this great mix of Europe and America. The friends I have there are smart and witty and fun.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

A large nose is in fact the sign of an affable man, good, courteous, witty, liberal, courageous, such as I am.

Luckily the script [of X-files episode] was written wonderfully and that became who I was and I was quirky, and I was kind of agitated and not entirely happy, but at the same time, witty.

[On Italian:] One may almost call it a language that talks of itself, and always seems more witty than its speakers.

Everyone striving to be witty and sought-after, everyone talking and no one listening.

I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

Clever, witty and absorbing, Amortality is a much-needed anatomy of our profound malaise about ageing. Its charms will never fade.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

Audiences always love the baddies. Especially these ones that are so witty and charming and outrageously devious - everything you're not supposed to be. I think it speaks to the basic, primal nature in us.

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.

Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But what matters is not what is witty but what is true.

Antonin Scalia was witty, warm, funny, and full of life. He was not only one of the most important justices in the nation's history; he was also among the greatest.

Being witty was the only side effect of being depressed that was working for me.

The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to be able to quote another's wit.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

Television has an awful lot to do with the Kennedy mystique and the fact that he's frozen in people's minds at the age of 46, and he was handsome and personable and witty and charming.

Histories make men wise; poets, witty; the mathematics, subtle; natural philosophy, deep; moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able to contend.

Zimbabweans are so smart and witty and able to weave together tons of situations and experiences into terminologies that are just utterly original.

I have little brothers and sisters, and they annoy me a lot, but I love them so much because they're so smart and witty.

Though lust do masque in ne'er so strange disguise she's oft found witty, but is never wise.

I make grown-folks music, and I'm cool with that. I accept that. I try to be witty while also delivering a message.

I started out at Procter & Gamble marketing panty liners, so basically selling women insecurity. I thought there must be more to life than this. Then I was on set for a Dr. Scholl's commercial, and I asked one of the execs, 'How do you get a job behind the camera?' and he said, 'Film school.' So I quit and applied to NYU.

Nam June Paik's artworks are highly intellectual, cutting-edge, and sophisticated. But he was also witty, humorous, and self-deprecating.

Critchley and Webster’s fierce, witty exploration of Hamlet makes most other writing about Shakespeare seem simpleminded.

The Law is a grim, unsmiling thing. Not Justice, though. Justice is witty and whimsical and kind and caring.

Nobody thanks a witty man for politeness when he puts himself on a par with a society in which it would not be polite to show one's wit.

I am attracted to intelligence, a witty sense of humor, an adventurous outlook on life and spiritual awareness about one's self and the world.

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.

My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies.

Queen Elizabeth is reserved when she meets strangers - but with friends and family she can be very witty.

When I want to make someone laugh in real life (as opposed to when I'm on stage where I tell one-liners), I tend to do prop comedy. For example, if I'm at the supermarket with my husband, I might put 16 bags of marshmallows in our cart when he's not looking, or if I'm trying to make a kid smile, I'll put my glasses on crooked.

'Guardian' journalism itself will remain what it has always been: thoughtful, progressive, fiercely independent and challenging, and also witty, stylish, and fun.

I like my man to be witty; he needs a sense of humour and needs to be extremely well-mannered.

Letting Go: A Little Bit at a Time is filled with big ideas that just might change your life. Wise, witty, and important.

Every habit makes our hand more witty and our wit less handy.

Lukewarm persons think they may accommodate points of religion by middle ways and witty reconcilements,--as if they would make an arbitrament between God and man.

I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive.

Quoting E. B. White is the easiest way I know of to fool people into thinking that I am perceptive, witty, and wise.

I say funny stuff in my lyrics to make people laugh, but it's all in the seriousness of the music. I'm just being witty.

My music started out as a complete joke, so really all I was doing was going for witty punchlines to make all of my buddies laugh.

even Mademoiselle Neubahr can't make me believe in hell. It doesn't seem a very - witty - solution of the crime-and-punishment situation, does it?

I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.

Who can prove Wit to be witty when with deeper ground Dulness intuitive declares wit dull?

Bill Gallagher's new version of 'The Prisoner' is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am very excited to be involved.

Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also.

I think that one-liners are very important and sometimes you don't even know when you're making the movie that it's going to be a great line. I remember when we did 'The Terminator' and I came to the line "I'll be back" I had no idea that it was going to be an important line.

A cat is witty, he has nerve, he knows how to do precisely the right thing at the right moment.

Be completely honest - have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn?

My instinct is to surround myself with the company of wise, witty, wonderful women, and I have a great bank of female friends of all ages.

We find ourselves less witty in remembering what we have said than in dreaming of what we would have said.

A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.

You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.