Top 1200 You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes & Sayings - Page 3

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

Jeff Foxworthy had that whole "You might be a redneck" thing; Larry the Cable Guy had "Git-R-Done." Some comics have that hook. Dane Cook had that super finger. So I just caught on early on. I ran with "Fluffy."

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

I'm gonna play this game the way I want to. It might be serious, it might be a comedy, it might be a dramedy, it might be variety, it might be a talk show, whatever. There's no box.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

Cause I'm a redneck woman.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

I'm a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don't care about those things. And when you're a redneck named Bubba, you really don't care.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

I'm a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says 'Obama... Osama... Hmmm... Are they brothers?' No, they're not brothers. In fact, they're not even related, which is more than I can say for the married couples in your church.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You just have to get out of the bubble and you have to quit listening to yourself. People are really hurt. The irony of this is, though, had Ms.[Hillary] Clinton listened to her husband instead of her boss, she might could have stopped this Rust Belt redneck revolt.

Jesus offered a single incentive to follow himto summarize his selling point: 'Follow me, and you might be happy-or you might not. Follow me, and you might be empowered-or you might not. Follow me, and you might have more friends-or you might not. Follow me, and you might have the answers-or you might not. Follow me, and you might be better off-or you might not. If you follow me, you may be worse off in every way you use to measure life. Follow me nevertheless. Because I have an offer that is worth giving up everything you have: you will learn to love well.'

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

I was kind of a little redneck growing up, living on a farm, and running around in the country. I developed hillbilly tendencies, but I wanted to listen to something a little more meaningful than "Redneck Woman" or whatever.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

First of all, "redneck" is a state of mind, not a person. So the "racist redneck" thing is a state of mind, not a geographical location. So I don't mean to imply that it's just Southerners. And if you don't recognize the racist underpinnings and the emotional reactive response you're getting from these teabaggers because we have a black president, then you are either being dishonest, or you've never seen the teabaggers.

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.