A Quote by Mark Twain
Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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I'm going to write a book someday and the title will be I'm an Ass, You're an Ass. That's the most liberating, wonderful thing in the world, when you openly admit you're an ass. It's wonderful. When people tell me, You're wrong I say, What can you expect of an ass?
Home is where your ass is and if you want to move you move your ass the first step is learning to change homes with someone else and have someone else's ass.
Every November, during the certain holiday people love so much, people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread. Somebody else’s dead empty bacteria-laden ass to make bread? Ass bread?! And people think vegans are weird? Because we eat tofu? And rice, and beans, and lentils?
Mindful of the fact you live in an agricultural country, I presume you know what an ass is. We read in the New Testament that our blessed Lord rode on an ass in triumph into the city of Jerusalem. Today the Lord rides on another ass: I myself.
You can say "ass," but you can't say "asshole." That's why I always cringe when a character in a TV show refers to someone as an "ass." Unless you're British, calling someone an ass really doesn't work. But those are the rules of television. You can be a dirtbag, but not a scumbag.
Everyone has ideas. The first step is to learn more about your industry than anyone in the world. Otherwise there is a good chance that the lady that knows it better than you is going to kick your ass. Then you just have to go for it. No excuses. Just work your ass off.
You can't deny that religion has done some good. It organizes lots of anti-poverty programs and soup kitchens and missionary work. But I would say that, first of all, all those things can be accomplished without religion. You can be ethical, somebody who does the right thing without feeling that he has to in order to get his ass saved in the next life.
I’m about to enter a national ass-kicking contest. With no legs. And a massive ass.
Sometimes it seems like this is the choice - either kick ass or kiss ass.
By outward show let's not be cheated; An ass should like an ass be treated.
I doubt very greatly, however, that you'll kick my ass. But me and my ass will enjoy your efforts.
Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.
Kyle Busch is going to get his ass whipped shortly I hope. He better sit his ass in his motor home or I’m going to come find him and he’s going to have to hold my watch because I’m going to whip his ass. He’s the biggest whining little piece of [expletive] I’ve ever seen in my whole life.
I was looking in the mirror today and my waist is still 28 inches. I think it's all because I have a large bosom and a large ass. I have a large ass and it always just looks like I'm bigger than the rest of the girls. I could lose 20 pounds and I'm still going to have these knockers and I'm going to have this ass, and that's just the way it is.
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.
Although an ass is tired, he continues to carry his burden; he is unmindful of cold and heat; and he is always contented; these three things should be learned from the ass.
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