A Quote by Amy Schumer
Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.
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I' ve won awards. And they didn't make me feel bad winning them. They made me feel pretty good. But it also did not make me feel bad NOT winning the Academy Award.
I think people have this "It can't hurt to ask" mentality, which is true on some level. I get comics like, "Hey, will you look at these videos of me on MySpace?" I was like, "Well, who's gonna benefit from that? What if I don't like you?" No, I'm gonna write to a stranger and say, "Hi. You like me, and I don't like you. And now I feel bad when I didn't need to feel bad, because you put me on the spot." Or like, "Can I open for you?" Well, I've never seen you work, so no. I certainly made awkward mistakes when I was starting out, and they're just trying to have a career.
Everything can be brought to the extreme. Food is good, overeating is bad. Possessions are good, hoarding is bad. Guilt is good, obsessing about guilt is bad. But I think guilt is good because I'm like, "Hey, I just stabbed that guy and I feel pretty good."
I think I'm just an OK quarterback. But I feel like I can throw the ball pretty well, and I feel like my work ethic separates me.
I never felt pretty. I don't feel pretty now. I'm not a pretty person. I don't like pretty. So I don't feel badly. And I think it worked out well, because I found that all the girls I know who got by on their looks, as time went on and they faded, they were nothing. And they were very disappointed. When you're somebody like myself, in order to get around and be attractive, you have to develop something, you have to learn something, you have to do something. So you become a bit more interesting.
I don't feel I'm a diva in any way, but, like, I just can't bring myself to reuse eyelashes. I think it's gross. And so I only use them one time. Is that bad? I feel like it's bad!
I don't happen to like pretty things. I don't like pretty dresses. I like more attractive. I like people that look a little bit more offbeat. I don't like the classic pretty face. That doesn't mean it's not pretty or it's not wonderful, and most people don't agree with me, but that's the way I think.
In general, I think writing characters, no one is 100 percent good or bad, and certainly, the bad characters never think they're bad themselves. Even the worst characters don't feel like they're bad guys on the inside.
You try to shut the criticism out, but it's pretty hard to do. You see people on the street, friends, people that you know are in your corner, and they come and tell you how bad they feel, and that's not the kind of conversation you want. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me.
I think comedy directors tend to feel a need to justify the bad behavior, and I just never think that. I like bad behavior, I've always liked bad behavior, I'm a fan of bad behavior, and I don't think you have to justify bad behavior.
I kind of feel a bit insecure about things. At fashion parties, I do feel like people are kind of watching me and I get so shy, and I think, Oh, if only I could have a drink now. But then that feeling disappears - it actually disappears pretty quickly. I remember how happy I am that I don't drink anymore. I think about all the bad times I had when I was drunk. I messed up so many things. I don't want to do that anymore.
Used to be some liabilities people would talk about in my game. I feel like I have cleaned those up pretty well. Returning was big for me. I think I've gotten a pretty good hold on that.
I mean, defending isolations is easy, but it's hard at the same time. I think I'm a pretty good defender, but when you go against guys that can make tough shots, it makes you feel so bad, like, 'Oh, man, these guys just made a tough shot on me.'
I feel the same way about Shondaland I feel about Africa and Greece. I feel pretty in both places. Men look at me like I'm a novelty, and women think I'm just cool. I feel absolutely at home immediately. I'm not altering myself to fit in. I'm walking in just as I am. And there are open arms stretched out to greet me.
I think everybody that grows up in Florida, you've got a little chip on your shoulder. It's not as bad as people think it is, but it's pretty bad. When you go to other places you're just like, "Oh, god. What was that about?"
I just feel lucky to have grown up where I did because I think it gave me a nice base. Hollywood can really mess with your sense of self and I feel like coming from the South keeps me pretty grounded.
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