A Quote by Dana Gould

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

Dana Gould

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Came Cold Down Just Like Look Make Pants Poop Put Really Reindeer Roof Santa Up

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Dana Gould
American - Comedian
Born: August 24, 1964

We spend a lot of time on Skype and other video interviews, and it's funny how many people will prepare for a Skype interview by wearing a formal suit jacket with pajama pants on the bottom. Then suddenly, someone is at the door, and you have to get up, and you realize you're wearing reindeer boxers. Just put pants on.

Kathryn Minshew

I have really long legs, so I like cropped pants that make it look like I intentionally wanted my pants short instead of pants that happen to be too short for me.

Franchesca Ramsey

I'm from Texas, so we used to wear our pants starched down like a cowboy. So when I got to New York, to New Jersey, everybody was laughing at me like, 'Look at his pants! His pants could stand up by themselves!'

Stephen Jackson

I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

Will Ferrell

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

Conan O'Brien

If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer.

Unknown

I really like crop tops. I like how you can dress them up or down, with jeans or a skirt and heels. I like to be showy and cute. I don't want to be in just a jacket and pants and boots.

McKayla Maroney

Look, when do the really interesting things happen? Not when you've brushed your teeth and put on your pyjamas and are cozy in bed. They happen when you are cold and uncomfortable and hungry and don't have a roof over your head for the night.

Ellen Potter

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

Kurt Braunohler

Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie…Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value…Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

Ted Nugent

When it came right down to it, the reindeer would eat you.

Unknown

Sometimes I'm so tired, I look down at what I'm wearing, and if it's comfortable enough to sleep in, I don't even make it into my pajamas. I'm looking down, and I'm like, 'T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that's fine. It's pajama-y, good night.'

Rebecca Romijn

How do you like to go up in a swing, Up in the air so blue? Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing Ever a child can do! Up in the air and over the wall, Till I can see so wide, River and trees and cattle and all Over the countryside. Till I look down on the garden green, Down on the roof so brown- Up in the air I go flying again, Up in the air and down!

Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.

Nicki Minaj

When I get a cold sore, I put Carmex on it, because Carmex is supposed to alleviate cold sores. I don't know if it does help, but it will make them more shiny and noticeable. It's like cold-sore-highlighter. Maybe they could come up with an arrow that heals cold sores.

Mitch Hedberg

I relate more to 90 percent of America because I look like 'em, act like 'em. I'm not above anybody; I put my pants on the same way. Some guys try to live up to their persona. I'm just me.

Roy Nelson

A Quote by Dana Gould

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