A Quote by Debra Granik
There's a period where you feel very hinky and low about yourself, like, 'That was a lot of time, and there's nothing to show for it.' I've tried to tell myself that if you're going to be a filmmaker, you can't really talk like that about time, because you'll hate yourself or feel very worthless.
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It is said that I'm distant and cold. I'm just someone who's very shy. I'm not comfortable doing interviews because I have to talk about myself. To talk about yourself, you have to know yourself pretty well and I feel like there are still some shades in me that I don't know about.
I still get stage fright every time. I also feel very, very sleepy about a minute before we go on. Like I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. I can't explain it. It's sort of like, "Where's the energy going to come from to play this show?" Then all of a sudden you step up and there it is, it's like it's waiting for you.
When you feel like you've had a good show, you go backstage and you talk to yourself about it, and if you have a bad show you talk to yourself about it.
Some athletes feel they have to show they're confident and talk about what they're going to achieve. I don't think there's anything wrong with just quietly believing in yourself and just getting on with it. You don't have to talk about it all the time; you want your performances to show for it.
Every performer I talk to will, with different words, talk about the sanctity of a good standup show, how it can really feel spiritual. When everybody is laughing, fixed on the same thing, you feel like you transcend yourself.
I think it's really important to love yourself. Because I feel like a lot of the time, especially right now, I've noticed that insecurity is something that's so common that it's not glorified but like romanticized. And it shouldn't be because at the end of the day you have to live with yourself and be happy with who you are. If not, then you're not going to be a happy individual and whatever people say will get to you. So you have to know who you are and like it that way.
You can feel better about yourself in a very short period of time depending on the kind of magic that you are doing.
If you don't connect yourself to your family and to the world in some fashion, through your job or whatever it is you do, you feel like you're disappearing, you feel like you're fading away, you know? I felt like that for a very very long time. Growing up, I felt like that a lot. I was just invisible; an invisible person. I think that feeling, wherever it appears, and I grew up around people who felt that way, it's an enormous source of pain; the struggle to make yourself felt and visible. To have some impact, and to create meaning for yourself, and for the people you come in touch with.
I'm such an incredibly, stupidly sensitive person that everything that happens to me, I experience it really intensely. I feel everything very deeply. And when you feel things deeply and you think about things a lot and you think about how you feel, you learn a lot about yourself. And when you know yourself, you know life.
Becoming awarrior and facing yourself is a question of honesty rather than condemning yourself. By looking at yourself, you may find that you've been a bad boy or girl, and you may feel terrible about yourself. Your existence may feel wretched, completely pitch-black, like the black hole of Calcutta. Or you may see something good about yourself. The idea is simply to face the facts. Honesty plays a very important part. Just see the simple, straightforward truth about yourself.
I feel like what you tell yourself after the words 'I am...' is so important. I'm very careful with the words I use about myself.
Really it's all about what's inside the Superman suit. How you feel about yourself when you put that on because it's very revealing and very imposing if worn with confidence, I suppose. The first time I wore it, I didn't have that as much. I hadn't really trained any, yet. I hadn't read the script, I hadn't really worked on the character at that point. And I was standing around with a room full of costume designers and everybody was judging me right away and going, "Don't make your judgment on it, if this is Superman quite yet or not," because I hadn't done all the work that I would later do.
I take things very seriously, and I give myself time to come down and to ramp up, and it's an inside spiritual journey for me. I feel like acting is a way of feeling your personality, and it's really special. Special to have this kind of effect on people. You can only have that effect if you're really outside of yourself. You can't look at yourself and do what I do at the same time. I have done it that way in the past, but it doesn't really work. I can only soar within the parameters of time, and I use music analogies.
You can't really control how people are going to feel about you; all you can really do is be yourself. Because if you seduce somebody, and you seduce them by pretending to be a certain way, once they are seduced they are going to find that you are not that way. And then you have to maintain an image that's not real, so you really screw yourself. The best is to be yourself and hope they like you.
At the beginning of 'The Hills,' I couldn't watch myself because I'm very critical and would pick myself to pieces. But with movies I feel like it's different because you're playing a character. So it's like watching yourself but not watching yourself.
I feel confused about what I'm supposed to be doing as a feminist because I do like fashion, and I do like magazines, too. I buy them on airplanes. I like seeing what hot trends are new this fall. It makes me feel very conflicted a lot of the time.
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