A Quote by Denise Bidot
I'm proud of my stretch marks. For so long in my life, I thought those were things I needed to hide or things that made me imperfect, and I came to realize that those are the qualities that made me unique.
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But I can tell you I myself have made many mistakes. Things sometimes I would be ashamed to admit. But if it weren't for those mistakes I wouldn't have seen the beauty in me. I wouldn't have awoken the goddess that lives in me. You see, goddesses although immortal were all flawed. They were all a bit extreme at their calling, and they were all betrayed and hurt at some point. They were even considered devious but what made them unique was their strength.
It's made me realize that imperfect is perfectly comfortable to me. Whether it's a city or my apartment, I feel most at home when things are somewhat flawed.
I love everything about my body. Every bit of it... the cellulite, the stretch marks, everything that I thought at one point was an imperfection, I now realize is everything that makes me unique.
I love the golf courses because it brought the best out of me. It made me prepare, made me work at it, made me do the things I needed to do to be better, and that's what I loved about USGA events. If you couldn't handle it, then you got beat, and that's OK.
Brian Eno records and music got me through. It made me feel like there were other people out there who had the same questions and fears and unhappiness. Particularly those kinds of artists who were writing songs about exactly those things.
I always thought happiness was a choice and I always chose things that made me happy, and books were one of those.
I made a mask out of my face because I didn't realize I was quite beautiful. God blessed me so. I practically destroyed it. I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings, and dark lines under my eyes, and cut all my hair off, my long dark hair. Cut it off and strip it silver and blonde. All those little maneuvers I did out of things that were happening in my life that upset me.
What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?
At the age of twelve I had an attitude toward life that was to endure, that was to make me seek those areas of living that would keep it alive, that was to make me skeptical of everything while seeking everything, tolerant of all and yet critical. The spirit I had caught gave me insight into the suffering of others, made me gravitate toward those whose feelings were like my own, made me sit for hours while others told me of their lives, made me strangely tender and cruel, violent and peaceful.
Trent Lott saved my family. I needed three things from him personally, and he came through for me. He made sure that the ice that we desperately needed was delivered. He got us ice, insulin and water. The food came as well. He put politics aside and made sure my family was ok. I will always thank him for that.
I love animals; I've always loved animals. It's how I identified myself for so long, but I didn't know that in so many ways, I was living my life not in alignment with that. And once I learned about those ways I could be loving animals better, I made those changes, which made me happier and had me living a life that had me contributing.
I've learned so many things from directors in my acting career. There are even some things I've learned that I didn't want to do. There are those directors who've really made me shine and others who've made me opaque.
I had made a list of about ten things that I remembered from the original 'Total Recall' before I went back and watched. It had been about twenty years. I wanted to write it out before I watched it again. And I felt if those things stayed with me long enough, those are the things that I wanted to highlight.
A lot of musicians have said things to me like, "Music saved my life". And "I'm standing on the shoulders of dozens of people that you've never heard of that were like angels for me that came out of the woodwork." And that's really the case for me. I had so many people that did those kinds of things for me.
I did not direct my life. I didn't design it. I never made decisions. Things always came up and made them for me. That's what life is.
I just hope to work with great people, and do things that are challenging for me and that I can be proud of and not have to hide my face about. Those are my guidelines.
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