A Quote by Janis Joplin
At my concerts most of the chicks are looking for liberation, they think I'm gonna show 'em how to do it.
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Here's a group of people - this is how the liberals think - a group of people, smokers, we hate 'em. They're yuk, they're filthy, they're dirty, they spread disease, yuk, but we need their money because we're funding children's health care programs. So we'll gladly get 'em addicted to the product, then we won't let 'em smoke 'em anywhere legally. We're gonna be pursuing these people every which way can but, by God, we're gonna make 'em pay for it.
I think comics will always be around. I think there's something nice about a comic book. People love to hold 'em, turn the pages, fold 'em up, roll 'em up, stick 'em in their back pocket, show 'em to a friend, and say, "Hey, look at this."
You're looking at the reflection of perfection. You're looking at the man who gets all your attention. You're looking at the man with the biggest arm. At the man, with the greatest charm, the man in Chicago who will do harm to the guy three doors down. Whatcha gonna do, when you know who? How ya gonna deal, with the man of steel? How ya gonna react to Sonnen's attack?
I think that the Internet is going to effect the most profound change on the entertainment industries combined. And we're all gonna be tuning into the most popular Internet show in the world, which will be coming from some place in Des Moines. We're all gonna lose our jobs. We're all gonna be on the Internet trying to find an audience.
It's the fans that need spring training. You gotta get 'em interested. Wake 'em up and let 'em know that their season is coming, the good times are gonna roll.
Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel.
I think comedians should focus on what makes them happy, what art form fulfills them the most. Don't be calculated about it and say, 'Okay, I'm gonna tweet, and I'm gonna podcast, and I'm gonna do standup, and one of those things is going to lead me to my own TV show.' I don't think that should be the goal.
Our immigration law sucks, and we need to redo the whole thing, comprehensive immigration reform. And what that's gonna be is anybody who wants to come and vote Democrat, we're gonna send 'em a limousine and bring 'em in.
What the Democrats have done is tell the poor and the middle class that the Democrats are looking out for 'em. Democrats are gonna get even with those rich people. They're gonna get there, and they're gonna have theirs taken away. They're gonna lose theirs, and you're supposed to feel good about that. You, who are poor or middle class, are supposed to feel happy, not because you have any more than you had. You're supposed to be happy because the rich that you hate have finally been screwed like you think you were screwed.
Somebody's gonna give you A lesson in leavin' Somebody's gonna give you back What you've been givin' And I hope that I'm around To watch 'em knock you down It's like you to love'em and leave'em Just like you loved me and left me It's like you to do that sort of thing Over and over again You're a fool-hearted man.
When you deal with a comedian who has a specific act, you can't hold 'em back. You got to work with 'em, dude. What you think, I'm just gonna do what's on the page, say 'yes sir, no sir'? I'm creatively beyond that.
Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out.
Just tell 'em you're gonna soak the fat boys and forget the rest of the tax stuff...Willie, make 'em cry, make 'em laugh, make 'em mad, even mad at you. Stir them up and they'll love it and come back for more, but, for heaven's sakes, don't try to improve their minds.
You can't show up on set and expect it all to come together. You have to have a plan, much like how the director can't just show up and go, well, where should I put the camera? That is gonna determine how it is lit, you should have already been in the room looking at it earlier, pre-lit the room, you know there is a lot of prep that goes into it, so it is the same thing with acting. You can't just show up.
Antonin Scalia was saying, and Donald Trump knows this as well, the answer to it is not to punish people, to shut 'em up, to put 'em in jail. The answer is more speech. If there's some clown burning the flag, drape yourself in the flag and go run around right in the guy's face and start telling him how much you love America. Donald Trump's not gonna put anybody in jail. He's not gonna strip their citizenship. This is how Donald Trump tells people what he thinks about it.
The men are mostly so slow, their thoughts overrun 'em, an' they can only catch 'em by the tail. I can count a stocking-top while a man's getting's tongue ready; an' when he outs wi' his speech at last, there's little broth to be made on't. It's your dead chicks take the longest hatchin'.
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