A Quote by Jay Leno

A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.

Jay Leno

Quote Topics

Christmas Christmas Tree Dead Gift Guy Perfect Plant Tree

Quote Author

Jay Leno
American - Comedian
Born: April 28, 1950

What do we plant when we plant a tree? A thousand things that we daily see, We plant the spire that out-towers the crag, We plant the staff for our country's flag; We plant the shade from the hot sun free, We plant all these when we plant the tree.

Henry Abbey

What do we plant when we plant the tree? We plant the ship that will cross the sea, we plant the mast to carry the sails, we plant the planks to withstand the gales--the keel, the keelson, and beam and knee--we plant the ship when we plant the tree.

Henry Abbey

While I was walking I passed these two guys that were unloading this big Christmas tree off a truck. One guy, kept saying to the other guy, 'Hold the sonunvabitch up! Hold it up, for Chrissake!' It certainly was a gorgeous way to talk about a Christmas tree.

J. D. Salinger

Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that will last forever. Jesus is God's perfect, indescribable gift. The amazing thing is that not only are we able to receive this gift, but we are able to share it with others on Christmas and every other day of the year.

Joel Osteen

More than any gift or toy, ornament of tree, let us resolve that this Christmas shall be, like that first Christmas, a celebration of interior treasures.

Ronald Reagan

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!"

Unknown

In your hurry to keep Christmas, you have forgotten Christmas. The truest gift of Christmas is the gift of self.

Richard Paul Evans

Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!

Norm MacDonald

Faith is salted and peppered through everything at Christmas. And I love at least one night by the Christmas tree to sing and feel the quiet holiness of that time that's set apart to celebrate love, friendship, and God's gift of the Christ child.

Amy Grant

You cannot plant greatness as you plant yams or maize. Who ever planted an iroko tree — the greatest tree in the forest? You may collect all the iroko seeds in the world, open the soil and put them there. It will be in vain. The great tree chooses where to grow and we find it there, so it is with the greatness in men.

Chinua Achebe

Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead.

Bill Bryson

I grew up with a Christmas tree, I'm going to stay with a Christmas tree.

Thomas Menino

The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardner objected that the tree was slow growing and wouldn't reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, "In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!

John F. Kennedy

Who can add to Christmas? The perfect motive is that God so loved the world. The perfect gift is that He gave His only Son. The only requirement is to believe in Him. The reward of faith is that you shall have everlasting life.

Corrie Ten Boom

When Christmas doesn't fit your expectations of what the perfect holiday should be, think about how Joseph and Mary probably didn't think that manger was the perfect place for their child to be born. but look at what a perfect Christmas that turned out to be.

Joel Osteen

Some Christmas tree ornaments do more than glitter and glow, they represent a gift of love given a long time ago