A Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

Quote Topics

Black Christmas Christmas Present Favorite Might Painting Present Redneck Velvet You Might Be A Redneck If Your Your Favorite

Quote Author

Jeff Foxworthy
American - Comedian
Born: September 6, 1958

Black Velvet in that little boys smile, Black Velvet with that slow southern style. A new religion that'll bring you to your knees.

Alannah Myles

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

Jeff Foxworthy

Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.

Carlos Mencia

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

Jeff Foxworthy

If they were starting their careers today, Rockwell and Picasso would probably both be painting on black velvet.

Brad Holland

If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.

Ben Folds

The painting was framed in a misty view of sky, sea, and valley. Newt's painting was small, black, and warty. It consisted of scratches made in a black, gummy impasto. The scratches formed a sort of spider's web, and I wondered if they might not be the sticky nets of human futility hung up on a moonless night to dry.

Kurt Vonnegut

I kind of have a uniform for office parties and Christmas parties. What I do is put on a basic tuxedo shirt with a solid navy or black tie, a tweed jacket, a red pocket square, and some sort of fancy shoe or velvet slipper.

Michael Bastian

We always go to downtown Oklahoma City to look at all the Christmas lights that have been put up... We go to the Christmas Eve service at church, and we always beg my parents to open a present - just one present - on Christmas Eve. We get them to cave.