A Quote by Kim Alexis
The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the empty nest is learning to put myself first.
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The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the empty nest is learning to put myself first. I know that I have raised my sons to be big, strong, independent men who love God, themselves and care for others. I have to learn to let them have space and learn without me.
I put myself out there; it's part of my job, and I get it: people will attack me. At first I was thrown off, but now I have a pretty thick skin about it.
Becoming baseball analyst was really important for me to not just be one of the first, but to literally break open the door and come in and stay, so that we could start inviting our friends and everyone, like, Come on. The door is open now. I am so proud of the fact that I put that pressure on myself: Alright, Jess, you've got a lot of women on your back right now and it's on you, so don't screw it up. I put that pressure on myself on purpose, so I'd realize it's not just about me, it's about a whole gender.
But let me say this about learning experiences: they're weird. Or put it this way: what you learn from a learning experience is generally something else.
Put on a camera and put on some whatever, and you're an actor. Put me in a cage, I'm a fighter. Put me somewhere else - I'm in an ocean, I'm a surfer. I don't know what I am, I just do it all. And I want to be good at everything.
I think that was the biggest learning lesson for me. I realized I can't be anything for anyone else if I'm not the best me for me. Now I just hope to kind of be that message for young girls to focus on yourself first always. Young people, I should say.
I feel like people put pressure on me, and that makes me put pressure on myself, which isn't needed.
There's a part of me which has always wanted to hear a man say, "Let me take care of you forever," and I have never heard it spoken before. Over the last few years, I'd given up looking for that person, learned how to say this heartening sentence to myself, especially in times of fear. But to hear it from someone else now, from someone who is speaking sincerely.
I am not good at first or second impressions, and you have to spend some time with me to know me. Also, I don't want to put my best foot forward and prove something, as that is not me. I would rather be me and have you like me for who I am, instead of being someone else.
My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don't want to put myself in the position where I'm in a monogamous relationship right now. I'm not dating just one person. 'Sex and the City' changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people.
In terms of whether I use humor to allow me or my readers to come up for air, I don't think I put that much thought into it. I hate to say it, but I first have to entertain myself before I can think about the reader. I know that's kind of weird and selfish, but I write because it's fun, not because I need to put bread on the table.
It is important that we learn humility, which says there was someone else before me who paid for me. My responsibility is to prepare myself so that I can pay for someone else who is yet to come.
The point of life that I'm currently at is a 'me right now' type of attitude. I am 37 years-old, my son is in college and my daughter is in high school. I'm becoming okay with me. I can't live life as an artist or person being someone that someone else has tried to mold me into. I'm not going to put on a dress that's two sizes too small. I'm custom making my own clothes so that they'll never fit anyone else if you know what I mean.
I was with a real jerk after the first heartbreak, and once I did the prerequisite eating an entire cake and singing "All By Myself" in the shower, I realized that people treat you badly when you let them, and that I had to respect myself and not let anyone else treat me that way again. If someone really loves you, they are your biggest champion, not your biggest detractor.
Just for once, I want someone to want me more than anybody else. To put me first.
I'll never forget my high school acting teacher, Anthony Abeson, who said, "It starts with the shoes." When I think about a character, it does start with the shoes: What kind would she wear? How would she walk in them? If I'm going to put on a dress for a role - I don't care if it's the hardest dress to put on - I have to put the shoes on first. The physicality leads me to the character.
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