I'm learning to accept everything that I am. I've accepted that I'm not going to be a stick-thin-model kind of girl. When I was 14, I was tall and spindly. By the time I turned 18, I had become a woman, and my body's not going to go back to what it looked like when I was 14.
I was so skinny, they gave me the nickname stechetto - the stick. I was tall, thin, ugly and dark like an Arab girl. I looked strange. All eyes. No flesh on my bones.
Physically, I have to get a lot better, ... I have to play these three setters and the points are going to go on and on. This is not something that is going to happen overnight. I am only 18 and this is going to take time. My body is still growing and I'm still adjusting to my own body.
My father was unwell when I was 11, had a stroke at 14 and died when I was 18. My mother going to work at seven in the morning and coming back to look after him and me and my brother left its mark on me.
At Waco, was there really an urgency to get those people out of the compound at that particular time? Was the press going to make it look heroic for the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms? At Ruby Ridge, there was one guy in a cabin at the top of the mountain. Was it necessary for federal agents to go up there and shoot a 14-year-old in the back and shoot a woman with a child in her arms? What kind of mentality does that?
I'd rather bake 14 times a day than bake one time a day and have all the bakers go home, and then everything's 14 hours old by the time anyone eats it. No.
Every time you are looking for love, and you're making yourself available for love, it may not come in the package that you had dreamed of. It might come in something completely different. You might've thought, "I'm going to be with a tall, dark, and handsome." or "I'm supposed to be with a model woman who looks like she can walk on the runways." But, it might be just a little curvy girl from Oakland!
What first got me involved in politics was being 14, and a youth organizer comes to my house with a van full of 14 year old girls. "Hey, you want to go to the beach with us? But first we're going to go support the cannery workers' strike in Watsonville."
By the time I was 14, I was about six foot. I remember going into auditions, and they'd look at how tall I was and say, 'Well, you're taller than the lead actor, so there's no way we can cast you.
By the time I was 14, I was about six foot. I remember going into auditions, and they'd look at how tall I was and say, 'Well, you're taller than the lead actor, so there's no way we can cast you.'
I knew that if I was going to be a model, that it was going to be in the body type that I am. As an athlete, as a woman with hips and thighs and curves, that was me.
I actually hated dancing. My mum used to have to bribe me to go by buying me things. A year before I stopped going, I was going to go for an audition with the Royal Ballet. It turned out I was a year too young. Because I was tall, they thought I was older. But before I had the chance to go back, I quit.
And like, I think when I was 14, I was like, OK, I'm going to go to college. I'm going to get out of college when I'm, like, 21, 22, then I'm going to get married. Then, I'm going to, like, be, like, rock star-musician-scientist.
From 13/14 I was always hanging about with older boys. Boys in school used to call me names. But outside older boys would pay me attention because I looked older for my age. I was going to clubs from 14. I wanted to be loved.
I was married when I wasn't quite 14 and had four babies by the time I was 18.
I remember the day I turned thirty. I was getting out of the shower and I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself for a long time. I examined every inch of my body and appreciated the fact that I finally looked like a grown woman. I also assumed that this was how I was going to look for the rest of my life. The way I saw it, I was never going to age; I'd just look up one day and be old.
Going back to school is like going back in time. Immediately, for better or for worse, you must give up a little piece of your autonomy in order to become part of the group. And every group, of course, has its hierarchies and rules- spoken and unspoken. It is like learning to live once again in a family- which, of course, is the setting where all learning begins.