A Quote by Moneybagg Yo
I keep a note pad because, sometimes, my thoughts get jammed up, and this is the only way that I can just, I can put brakes on it and brace myself, and just really, I feel like it's better when I see it on paper.
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I keep a journal. I like myself better when I just pour it out. It's easier sometimes, even if you write on a piece of paper and then tear it up, just to vent it out. Because in the past I have sometimes used interviews as therapy, and then I've regretted it because I'm going, "Wait a second, that is not for the world to know. That's for me to know."
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one day, I sat down. I said 'You know what? Just to kind of purge myself, I want to see what its like to feel that low'. So I decided to write a suicide note. Yeah, just to kinda flush it out there and put it on a page. And I started to do this, and I had an epiphany. I'll share this with you: a suicide note that is written by somebody that is not suicidal is called an autobiography. I am on Chapter 58.
I wake up in the morning, put on my face. The one that's going to get me through another day. Doesn't really matter...how I feel inside. This life is like a game sometimes. When you came around me the walls just disappeared. Nothing to surround me and keep me from my fears. I'm unprotected. See how I've opened up? You've made me trust.
The amazing thing about the cistern is that, if you're improvising in a dead room, you play your note and then you're left with your thoughts and you have to be really quick on your feet and be able to move through many different musical thoughts seamlessly. Improvising there is just, like, you play a note and then you had at least ten seconds to think, "What would be the perfect accompanying note to that?" And then you could add that note. You can just build this puzzle that was really amazing.
It's like you're wearing a really amazing dress and high heels and you've just gone to the hair salon and gotten a facial and you feel fabulous, and then someone says, You look really awful. You're thinking, Was I completely delusional? That's what having Lyme disease feels like. It was very lonely and for many years I just didn't talk about the way I felt because I assumed if there's nothing wrong on paper, maybe this is just the way a human is supposed to feel, and I'm just complaining about it.
You can get really bored in this business [film], and I think that's one of the reasons why I've challenged myself so many times in different areas because you can get really bored and stagnated in one area. So, I do a lot of different things to keep myself occupied. In this business, it's a 'hurry up and wait' business and you have to really wait sometimes in some areas. I just keep myself busy. When one thing stops, the other one is rolling.
I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.
What I really like to do, especially because we're all busy so sometimes you forget to do something, I always keep wrist weights with me. If I just put them on throughout the day, then I'll just be doing stuff and it's kind of just toning without me doing anything. Sometimes that's just my little trick. I have ankle weights and wrist weights and I just keep them with me at all times.
Performance is really an important part of how I edit. I sometimes take something out because I realize I put in a joke just to be funny and the audience laughed, but I should be ashamed of myself. I sometimes take out sentences, which are perfectly fine on paper, just because they don't flow when I say them out loud. I always read my work out loud now.
I might sound like a crazy person, but that's the way I pump myself up. You know how some people are just like 'I have to talk about it'? Sometimes I'll call my husband and we'll talk about it, sometimes I have to talk to myself in the mirror. So I start talking to myself: 'You got this. Don't think of this as Sports Illustrated, just think about this as the best swimsuit campaign you've done in your life. And just kill it and own it and don't put that pressure on yourself.'
If I'm having relentless thoughts, I just won't shut up in my head. I know that if I put myself on the mat and just focus on a flow that I will transmute or I will transform, transfer the energy into some other act or put my attention somewhere else, I'll be back. I'll feel stronger not only in my body but most certainly in my brain.
When you see all the medals won by Team GB, you can just see how much it means to each and every athlete, so it just feel like it's a little bit of a missed opportunity - but I'm only 23. I have just got to get on now and keep going.
My activism really is for myself, because I see places in the world where I feel I should be. If there is something really bad, really evil, happening somewhere, then that is where I should be. I need, for myself, to feel that I have stood there. It feels a lot better than just watching it on television.
I just try to keep busy. I find sometimes, when I put my emotions into records, I don't feel as depressed. It's so easy to get depressed. Sometimes it makes me feel better. Sometimes it makes me feel the same. But, the same squared. So, monumentally the same.
Everything sounds better when Billie sings it, so the only ones I'll keep for myself are ones that really feel just super personal to me in their content, like this is my life story and maybe not anybody else's.
When I do interviews, sometimes I'll just be like "Why the hell did I say that?" because after I hang up the phone I realize there were so many things I could have said, but my brain just goes on lockdown. There's something about having conversations with people that's so much different from just singing and playing guitar. And I think a lot of people are actually performers because of that. I can't really explain why. It's like just the only chance you have in life to feel really good and outgoing.
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