A Quote by Scott Aukerman

I think comedians should focus on what makes them happy, what art form fulfills them the most. Don't be calculated about it and say, 'Okay, I'm gonna tweet, and I'm gonna podcast, and I'm gonna do standup, and one of those things is going to lead me to my own TV show.' I don't think that should be the goal.
I think Obama did have a pitch, and it was he was gonna take care of you, and he was gonna fix everything that was wrong. And he personally was gonna guarantee you that things are gonna be okay. And he personally was gonna guarantee that the country be loved again. And he personally was gonna do all these wonderful things.
We are going to lead once again by being the best. We're gonna lead economically. We're gonna lead technologically. We're gonna go back to the Moon, we're gonna do whatever we're gonna do. We are going to lead by engaging in American exceptionalism and this is going to inspire others to come along with us. We're not shrinking away from anybody. We are reengaging. That's what Trump is, and that's what Democrats don't see.
It doesn't matter who the candidates are. It doesn't matter the campaign. You know that's gonna happen. The Washington Post is gonna do it, the New York Times is gonna do it, the three networks gonna do it, CNN's gonna do it, MSNBC gonna do it, all the newspapers are gonna do it. For the vast majority of them. There are some exceptions. That sameness ends up being its own authority. If everywhere you look in the media tells you the same thing, you don't have to research.
I don't believe, folks, that the media people you see on TV every day from NPR to CBS to ABC to NBC to wherever are ever gonna admit they're irrelevant, and they're not gonna start acting like it, and they're never gonna say, "Gee, you know what? We might have to alter the way we're -" It isn't gonna happen, even if it means the end of them.
I think that the Internet is going to effect the most profound change on the entertainment industries combined. And we're all gonna be tuning into the most popular Internet show in the world, which will be coming from some place in Des Moines. We're all gonna lose our jobs. We're all gonna be on the Internet trying to find an audience.
The left are gonna calling you names. You're gonna be racist, gonna be a pig, gonna be sexist, you're gonna hate women, you're gonna hate blacks, you're gonna be anti-transgender, whatever. They'll come at you in all directions to force you into acquiescence.
Sometimes you feel all alone. You come out of a meeting, and something sexist has been said to you: That movie will never be made with that female lead. And you think, 'How am I ever gonna get another job?' When you hear other women having the same experiences, it makes you feel like, 'Well, I'm gonna keep going, and we're gonna fight this system.'
My parents told me they were going to kill me at least a thousand times growing up. "I'm gonna kill you," and then they'd whack me on the side of the head or whatever. And "What's wrong with you?" And "I'm gonna lock you up," and "I'm gonna throw you out the window," and "I'm gonna kill you." You know, all these things that you say in the heat of a normal chaotic household.
Two different styles of leadership. LeBron, very encouraging, bringing everybody along, and Kobe, he's testing you, seeing what you gonna give him. If he gonna get at you, he gonna scream at you, he gonna cuss, he gonna do whatever it is. He had his own way of leading guys as well. It's two different sides. I'm just blessed to see both of them.
I feel like, when we're kids, you're sold into this fairy tale of what love is. That Prince Charming's gonna come along and save you and you're gonna live happily ever after. They're gonna rescue me from the Bronx, and we're gonna go off and live in a castle somewhere and it's gonna be awesome. He's gonna love me forever, and I'm gonna love him forever, and it's gonna be real easy. And it's so different than that.
There are a lot of [Donald] Trump people, I mean, Trump, I remember hearing it, some of these rallies that he had talking about a special prosecutor, and his audience was responding wildly positively to it. So we'll see. Look, I do not think that Trump supporters are going to abandon him over this, and I don't think he's gonna lose any of them over this, but I do know a couple people are gonna be livid that it's not gonna happen.
When you want something so bad and when something great happens, I think it's instinct that you say, 'This is gonna be the moment that's gonna change everything. Everybody is gonna see me a different way.'
I want kids that look up to me to know that I'm a vegetarian, and I want to help them find alternatives to meat. I'm not gonna tell everyone that they should be vegetarian, even though they should be. I'm more gonna say, 'You don't have to be fully vegetarian; just don't eat meat every other day.'
At the end of the day I'm gonna be dead one day, and what people say about me is going what I accomplished and what I did in my life and how my children are. And I don't think it's gonna be what was printed in the tabloids this year.
Have you noticed that every one of these candidates for Presidency say: "Barack Obama's weak, Vladimir Putin's kicking sand in his face. When I talk to Putin, he's gonna straighten out. Just looking at him I'm gonna - he's gonna be - " and then it turns out they can't handle a bunch of CNBC moderators at a debate. I don't think the Chinese and the Russians are gonna be too worried about you.
You have those walls up all around you...Come a day you gonna want to tear them down brick by brick and gonna find that the cement is all hard. What you gonna do then?
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