A Quote by Terry McMillan
I remember the day I turned thirty. I was getting out of the shower and I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself for a long time. I examined every inch of my body and appreciated the fact that I finally looked like a grown woman. I also assumed that this was how I was going to look for the rest of my life. The way I saw it, I was never going to age; I'd just look up one day and be old.
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I'm not going to see anybody else in the mirror. That's how I live, day by day. When I look in the mirror, it's up to me to accomplish everything I want out of life.
Do not shorten the morning by getting up late, or waste it in unworthy occupations or in talk; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent sacred. Evening is like old age: we are languid, talkative, silly. Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.
I felt like the sample size was right, and my body was wrong. I basically ended up going into battle with my body, and that's a daily battle every time you look in the mirror. Every time you see an image of a successful model or someone who you look up to who doesn't look like you, you think you're not good enough.
I'm never going to wake up and look in the mirror and think, 'Yes, I'll go out and meet people.' Most of the time, you wake up, look in the mirror, and want to give up. And that doesn't change. It isn't awful; it's just the way I feel.
When I was 15-years-old, I took off my clothes and looked in the mirror. When I stared at myself naked, I realized that to be perfectly proportioned I would need twenty-inch arms to match the rest of me.
I remember thinking, 'If I don't love the woman that I look at in the mirror, I am never going to be successful.' That was the moment I had to start convincing myself to look in the mirror and start saying, 'I love you.'
I remember the day before my dad died, I was in a hospital room with him, and he had lived a long life. He was 94, and I helped him get up, and there were two windows separated by the partition. I took him to the first window, and he kind of found his way to the second window, and on the way there was a mirror, and he looked into it, and I saw through the corner of my eye, I remember the look on his face. What came over his face was "So I'm here. I've crossed that bridge."
She stood in front of the mirror a long time, and finally decided she either looked like a sap or else she looked very beautiful. One or the other.
I like that I'm in shape but still look like a woman. I don't feel like I've had to give up my femininity to be an athlete. I feel good about my body because I work hard every day, and I still look and carry myself as a woman - a strong woman.
Every day look in the mirror and flex your muscles. Smile and enjoy the sight of a beautiful fit body. If you don't like what you see, find a photo of how you want your body to look and paste it to the corner of your mirror. Be willing to work hard for what you have the potential to become.
When I woke the next morning in my room at White's Motel, I showered and stood naked in front of the mirror, watching myself solemnly brush my teeth. I tried to feel something like excitement but came up only with a morose unease. Every now and then I could see myself-truly see myself-and a sentence would come to me, thundering like a god into my head, and as I saw myself then in front of that tarnished mirror what came was 'the woman with the hole in her heart'. That was me.
I remember going to see my dad pitch against other coal-mining teams, and he was successful with the knuckleball. I saw how bad guys would look like swinging, and how guys talked about how he could throw every day and didn't hurt his arm. That's how I grew up learning.
For a long time, I would go out of my way to have a personal appearance on the verge of an insane person, because it was closer to how I felt, but I looked so dumb. So, I just stopped. It was like, 'I'm just going to look like a banker.'
So when I look back at 'Saw' and 'Insidious,' I just think, 'Wow. Both of those films went way past what we ever could've dreamt for them' and it makes me genuinely thankful, like every single day, once a day, even if it's just for thirty seconds, sitting in my car, I have a moment where I'm like, I can't believe I'm here.
I guess my mom raised me right. She was very celebratory of her body. I never heard her once say, "I feel fat." Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous! I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, "Oh, I look like a woman." And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, 'cause I loved it.
My main goal is to stay alive. To keep fooling myself into hanging around. To keep getting up every day. Right now I live without inspiration. I go day to day and do the work because it's all I know. I know that if I keep moving I stand a chance. I must keep myself going until I find a reason to live. I need one so bad. On the other hand maybe I don't. Maybe it's all bullshit. Nothing I knew from my old life can help me here. Most of the things that I believed turned out to be useless. Appendages from someone else's life.
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