A Quote by Woody Allen
I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'
I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
I call you once...you never dialed back.
Twice...you never dialed back.
Saturday morning, live, I'm on Soul Train, talkin' to Don Cornelius.
Saturday night, my phone rings...
Saturday night, I won't answer.
Saturday night, my phone rings again...
Saturday night, I don't answer.
I completely understand why a businessman would fire me from 'Saturday Night Live'. Because he was seeing Jay Leno kill 10 minutes a night, doing his monologue with wall-to-wall laughs and applause, then I do 10 minutes a week to, sometimes, breathtaking silence. He's just listening for the laughs.
Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.
Everyone wants to understand art. Why don't we try to understand the song of a bird? Why do we love the night, the flowers, everything around us, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting, people think they have to understand.
Everyone wants to understand art. Why not try to understand the song of a bird? Why does one love the night, flowers, everything around one, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting people have to understand. If only they would realize above all that an artist works of necessity, that he himself is only a trifling bit of the world, and that no more importance should be attached to him than to plenty of other things which please us in the world, though we can't explain them. People who try to explain pictures are usually barking up the wrong tree.
Fame doesn't make it hard to date, because I could be seeing someone now and no-one would know. But if you go out with someone who's in the public eye you're asking for trouble. It's double intensity, double scrutiny. Even if I just went on one date with a normal guy, word gets around and that freaks me out. I don't like all that gossipy stuff.
The things I did on Saturday Night Live are going to stay as Saturday Night Live. You've never seen Eddie Murphy do a Gumby movie. There's a lot more new material inside of me.
Every time I see Trump on TV these days, I'm waiting for him to burst out, 'Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!' That would make sense to me - that this has all been one long 'Saturday Night Live' sketch.
Because bisexual people almost have a foot in the gay and the straight world, their friends can misunderstand them too. Like if a bisexual man starts dating another man, people are like 'Ah, he's gay,' but you know, bisexual people remain bisexual, and their attractions can change and flux over time.
I felt like I couldn't fully be myself and accepted in my family, so I would lock myself in my room on a Saturday night and watch 'Saturday Night Live,' and that was, like, the best thing that ever happened to me.
Arguably, the first five years of 'Saturday Night Live' were some of the most radical things ever seen on television. When NBC said, 'Okay, you can do a show from 11:30 to 1 on Saturday night,' they didn't think anyone would watch. It was like giving a piece of the candy store to the kids.
The clock is ticking and you're hearing the beat. You stop by a museum shop, sign your name on a scuba-diving sheet, and commit yourself to Saturday mornings in the deep end. You're either losing your mind - or gaining your soul. Life is meant to be an artist date. That's why we were created.
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