A Quote by Woody Allen
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Related Quotes
There comes a point in your life when you realize how quickly time goes by, and how quickly it has gone. Then it really speeds up exponentially. With that, I think you start to put a lot of things into context; you start to see how huge the world is, and really, the universe.
What I prefer is an audience who listen. And are intelligent. Which I try and assume every audience is. And that if something goes wrong, it's generally my fault and not theirs.
A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream—For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause, there's the respect, That makes calamity of so long life
Liberals are constantly wrong. In fact, that's how you rise to the top in liberalism, by being wrong. If you are wrong, and if you are consistently wrong, it's even better. You're really one of them if you're really wrong all the time. Look at Jimmy Carter.
I was born with the wrong sign
In the wrong house
With the wrong ascendancy
I took the wrong road
That led to
The wrong tendencies
I was in the wrong place
At the wrong time
For the wrong reason
And the wrong rhyme
On the wrong day
Of the wrong week
Used the wrong method
With the wrong technique
Wrong
Wrong.
If someone is always to blame, if every time something goes wrong someone has to be punished, people quickly stop taking risks. Without risks, there can't be breakthroughs.
It's not like I'm back for bath-time and bedtime for the children. You're back when they are asleep and you go out before they wake up. Really, that time when they are young goes all too quickly.
This is what the Sabbath should feel like. A pause. Not just a minor pause, but a major pause. Not just lowering the volume, but a muting. As the famous rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel put it, the Sabbath is a sanctuary in time.
The ghastly thing about being a producer is that, once the curtain goes up, there is nothing you can do. At least when you are in it, you have some measure of control. If something goes wrong, you can maybe put it right. When you are in the audience, there is nothing you can do.
In Japanese and Italian, the response to ["How are you?"] is "I'm fine, and you?" In German it's answered with a sigh and a slight pause, followed by "Not so good.
You know what, I've always been a smarty-pants, and the only thing that goes wrong now is that people know that I play a doctor on TV and so they quickly call me out on the fact that I really think I am a doctor.
The feelings of being in the audience and being on the podium are very far apart. When you're onstage and something goes wrong, you can do something about it. In the audience, you just have to sit there, and if it's a disastrous performance, I'm the one that gets blamed.
“How does one grow up?” I asked a friend the other day. There was a slight pause; then she answered, “By thinking.”
I regret that I didn't enjoy it all more. I didn't savour it until the end because I was so hard on myself. Life goes by so quickly. A dancer's career goes by so quickly. You've got to enjoy those moments when you know you've done your best.
Pause and remember - Slow and steady will get you where you want to go. If you put too much pressure on yourself for results too quickly, you will quickly give up.
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