Top 14 Quotes & Sayings by Ronnie Shakes

Explore popular quotes and sayings by Ronnie Shakes.
Last updated on September 20, 2024.
Ronnie Shakes

Ronnie Shakes was a stand up comedian who made seven appearances on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson from 1984 to 1987. Shakes died at age 40 of a heart attack while jogging.

February 21, 1947 - 1987
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'
I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once! — © Ronnie Shakes
I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!
Sometimes the unexpected does happen. Once, this exquisite woman fell for me. After we made love, she gave me a check for a hundred dollars. I said, "Honey, I don't get paid for sex." She said, "This is hush money."
Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.
I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.
I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What good would that do?
I like life. It's something to do.
As a teenager I just wanted to fit in, just to be one of the boys. It was tough. I went to an all black school. I went so far as to have them print my negative in the yearbook. I think it was the black teeth that gave me away.
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
One question on hospital admittance forms really gets me. "Sex: Male or Female?" Do I want to be in a hospital where they can't tell the difference?
Where there's a will there's a dead person.
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