A Quote by Christy Turlington
Like so many new moms, I felt anxiety over the impending birth of my daughter. However, most of the anxiety I felt was around the idea of raising a child. I wasn't focused on potential risks to my health or hers that could occur during the actual birth.
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The act of birth is the first experience of anxiety, and thus the source and prototype of the affect of anxiety.
I feel more beautiful than I've ever felt because I've given birth. I have never felt so connected, never felt like I had such a purpose on this earth. The best thing about having a daughter is having a true legacy. The word love means something completely different now.
I don't feel bound by the ebbs and flows of musical trends, or what's happening with new music in general. I always had a fascination with that sound. It's a mixture of the idea that something could be going wrong along with the idea of bending constrained, Westernized music out of tune. But because I wasn't copying an idea, and it just came from somewhere inside me, it felt like a birth of something that most people didn't understand at the time.
Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of an idea.
And she, the new mother of a daughter, felt a fierceness come over her that seized at her heart, that made her feel as if her bones were turned to steel, as if she could turn herself into a weapon to keep this daughter of hers from having to be hurt by the world outside the ring of her arms.
The presence of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional. Anxiety is not a sin; it's an emotion. So don't be anxious about feeling anxious. Anxiety can, however, lead to sinful behavior. When we numb our fears with six-packs or food binges, when we spew anger like Krakatau, when we peddle our fears to anyone who will buy them, we're sinning.
With anxiety and depression, what's been most helpful to me has been learning a toolbox - a set of skills I can use when I'm in periods of low mood or feel an anxiety attack coming on. When Years & Years took off it felt like I needed that toolbox really quickly.
I do not like eating meat because I have seen lambs and pigs killed. I saw and felt their pain. They felt the approaching death. I could not bear it. I cried like a child. I ran up a hill and could not breathe. I felt that I was choking. I felt the death of the lamb.
In Taiwan there's a saying: Raising a child is more important than giving birth. Raising a child is greater.
I don't think my relationship with the idea of womanhood is that attached to giving birth... like, I'm fully aware that I'll never give birth to a baby, and that's not something that I'm wrecked over.
I'm a big proponent of open adoption, because it allows a relationship between the birth mother and her child so that the kid isn't like, "Where did I come from?" And to have it be like, "Look, you have a bunch of people who love you." Not just the parents who are raising you on a day-to-day basis, but also to have contact with your birth mother and hopefully your birth father. So that you can be like, "Oh, they love me too, and they love me so much that they knew they couldn't take care of me but they're still in my life to some extent."
I was assigned male at birth, is the way I like to put it, because I think... we're born who we are... and the gender thing is something someone imposes on you. And so, I was assigned male at birth, but I always felt like I was a girl.
As ecstatic as I was at the birth of my daughter, I felt selfish bringing her, and later my son, into our screwed-up world.
For the whole consequence of evolution from blind impulse through conscious will to self conscious knowledge, seems still somehow to correspond to a continued result of births, rebirths and new births, which reach from the birth of the child from the mother, beyond the birth of the individual from the mass, to the birth of the creative work from the individual and finally to the birth of knowledge from the work.
When we prioritize and focus... and that becomes the anchor... the relationship becomes the anchor... and it trumphs everything else... than it's at once freeing and anxiety relieving... because the connection itself feeds empowerment and self-worth and self-esteem so it takes away the anxiety of raising a child.
Most new moms, and even experienced moms, have questions in the months after giving birth. Pregnancy books don't explain everything, and you may be caught off guard by some things that are happening both to you and to your baby in those first few months.
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