A Quote by Tara Westover
I had a mental breakdown while doing my Ph.D. at Cambridge, soon after I cut off contact with my parents, and I started seeing the university counsellor, one of the best decisions I ever made. There's something very nourishing in setting aside an hour a week to talk.
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In 1984, I returned to Newnham College at Cambridge University to teach after completing my Ph.D. there a couple of years earlier. Almost all of my colleagues in the university's classics department were men, and my office at the all-women's college was in the dorm.
It's very trying on a marriage when you're doing a one hour show, week after week after week. You don't have enough time for people that maybe you should have top priority.
I was born in Evanston, about three blocks away from the Chicago border. My mother, at the time, was finishing her Ph.D. in African History at Northwestern University. Soon after my birth, my parents split, and my father moved to Wicker Park, which is on the north side of the city.
Something was causing me not to be able to sleep, and then after a while your brain doesn't want to turn off and go to sleep. And so it was constant battle with that. But as soon as I had the neck surgery, I started sleeping again.
I thought it would be cool to Skype with fans on their birthday and spend, like, a half-hour with them. I did a couple of two-hour Skypes. I just hang out with them and play songs and stuff. At first they're kind of shy, but after a while they open up. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm doing something no one has ever done before.
The first big break was winning a scholarship to go to Cambridge University. I was very lucky, because my parents couldn't have afforded a university education for me. Without a scholarship I couldn't possibly have gone.
That's critical to me, the community. When I was 12 years old, I had a mental breakdown; I went berserk for a long time. I felt rejection from the white community. Couldn't understand why the pigmentation of my skin kept me from doing. Everybody always told me "You're going to be something." And of course, I began to raise questions about why it is that white folks treat us the way they do. The breakdown was very vivid. I just all of a sudden felt like I had been overcome by a train.
That was like the best start I could've had, the best way I could've started in the music scene. I owe [Jack Johnson] a lot for the beginning of my career and setting me off on the right path, and that's the coolest thing that ever could've happened.
He said I couldn't do (off the field) what I did when I was 23 or 24, and I paid attention to him. Damn it, I got a trainer and went to spring training in the best shape of my career and in 1985 had the best season I ever had and we won the World Series. Before that, I didn't know how long I was going to play. That talk with Mr. Fogelman was the most inspiring talk I ever had with anyone.
And so began something that had not quite begun and would not soon end, with many people in many places moving off in directions and on missions which they all mistakenly thought they understood. That was just as well. The future was too fearful for contemplation, and beyond the expected, illusory finish lines were things fated by the decisions made this morning -- and, once decided, best unseen.
When I was younger, I did my first audition at 'Eurovision.' I was about 17. After my first audition, I blacked out; I was just like, 'I can't do this.' I'm not knocking it or anything - it's been around for years. I'm just very, very happy I made that decision myself. I think that's one of the best decisions I've ever made.
No one in my family or my circle of friends had ever had to confront something like this. Jamie was seventeen, a child on the verge of womanhood, dying and still very much alive at the same time. I was afraid, more afraid than I'd ever been, not only for her, but for me as well. I lived in fear of doing something wrong, of doing something that would offend her. Was it okay to ever get angry in her presence? Was it okay to talk about the future anymore?
Upon receiving my notification of acceptance to the university, my parents noticed that they were obliged to submit to the university, among other things, a copy of my official family register. After much mental anguish, they decided to inform me of the secret of my birth.
The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple.
I still talk to my mom every day and she passed away when I was 28. And I still talk to my dad. The reality is that they're with you forever; the bond continues and they're there to help you and guide you. The best coaches I ever had, the best teachers, my parents, they all made it safe for me, not by being warm and fuzzy all the time, but by loving me so much, they were willing to make me better.
If I started something, I had to finish. Like with violin. I started when I was seven only because my best mate wanted to. I hated it and wanted to quit, but Dad made me continue, and I got to grade seven. My parents said I had to know the value of stuff and work for stuff.
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