Top 1200 Funny Sex Quotes & Sayings - Page 4

There is absolutely no reason to suspect that prohibiting same-sex couples from marrying and refusing to recognize their out-of-state marriages will cause same-sex couples to raise fewer children or impel married opposite-sex couples to raise more children. The Virginia Marriage Laws therefore do not further Virginia's interest in channeling children into optimal families, even if we were to accept the dubious proposition that same-sex couples are less capable parents.

Sex annihilates identity, and the space given to sex in contemporary novels is an avowal of the absence of character.

I have not once felt a thing for the male sex, I was only interested in the fairer sex. Mine.

Now I'm just like everybody else, and it's so funny, the way monogamy is funny, the way someone falling down in the street is funny. I entered a revolving door and emerged as a human being. When you think of me is my face electronically blurred?

Next to sex my favorite thing is laughing - it's part of sex. Make me laugh - I'll love you.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

What Sex and the City did for sex and relationships, Lipstick Jungle does for success and power.

The sale of sex in modern societies is not about spreading genes. Sex has been taken over by the memes.

The fact that same-sex marriage is still an issue is insane. Thinking love knows a sex is ridiculous.

I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.

My inclination during sex always is to use sex toys. That's not something men are often used to.

If I was on Game of Thrones, I think the nudity and sex questions would probably get irritating, but this is a show about sex.

Comedy is probably a lot harder for me. Maybe it's because I've been doing drama for so long or maybe it's because... you don't want to search for a laugh; you can't try to be funny, you just have to naturally be funny or be in a situation that's funny.

In terms of spiritual development, it's not a big deal whether you have sex or not, the question is more of who you have sex with and what their energy is doing to you.

The Englishman can get along with sex quite perfectly so long as he can pretend that it isn't sex but something else.

Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.

But the fact that same-sex marriage is still an issue is insane. Thinking love knows a sex is ridiculous.

I feel like I'm too old to just have sex. I mean, I want to have sex, but with somebody who really loves me.

Sex is essentially deep. We become what we do with our bodies, and there is no deeper act than sex.

The idea of surprise is part of what makes something funny, or what gets a reaction. At least when I'm an audience member, after you hear a joke so many times it's not as funny because it loses its surprise or its twist. So I think funny has to do with surprise.

Sex is hardly ever just about sex.

You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of sex comes from the danger of sex. You can be overpowered.

The sex element is the most important in the business. You must sell sex

The sex element is the most important in the business. You must sell sex.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

To confound the tyranny of man there should exist for a century a third sex, both male and female, and stronger than men. This new sex would prove with the lash that men as well as women are made for its pleasure; and then you would hear men protesting against the tyranny of the hermaphrodite sex and admitting that strength should not be the sole rule of right. Just why do they refuse to grant the women the independence which they would demand from the third sex?

It's what I say all the time to my girls in the office here: The more they dress for sex, the less they will have love or sex.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

We don't say a man's ill if he's crazy about sex, if he can't get enough sex. Why should a woman be different?

All religions have something to say about sex, and it rarely coincides with scientific knowledge of sex and sexuality.

You cannot have sex education without saying that sex is natural and that most people find it pleasurable.

I do not have too much sex. I hardly have any sex, O.K.? A lot of people get the wrong perception of me.

The best time of day for sex is anytime because it's sex.

The zombie sex, I have no idea. It must be like tantric sex.

Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One good night of sex and your problems are gone.

Before 'Sunny' came along, I would audition and do chemistry reads with very funny actors. And then they would cast someone who was beautiful and benign. I don't think that very funny men wanted to headline with very funny women. They wanted to be the funny ones, and they wanted the wife to be the wife. That was very frustrating.

Whenever you get a bunch of guys that are funny or think they’re funny, when you first meet, there’s always a lot of bits and it’s never, ever, ever funny. So basically you have to get through the awkwardness.

People who grow rich almost always improve their sex life. More people want to have sex with them. That's just the way human beings work. Money is power. Power is an aphrodisiac. Money did not make me happy. But it definitely improved my sex life.

When Andy Kaufman performed, he was not just trying to be funny. He was playing with the notion of what it means to try to be funny, of what it means to be an audience expecting somebody to be funny. He was doing a dance and playing a game.

I think that when you get married you have consented to sex. That's what marriage is all about, I don't know if maybe these girls missed sex ed.

In advertising, sex sells. But only if you're selling sex.

Personally, I like sex and I don't care what a man thinks of me as long as I get what I want from him -- which is usually sex.

Penicillin was as liberating for gay sex as the pill had been for straight sex.

Join me in Olympic Heros for Abstinence. The best sex is no sex.

Life can be swamped by sex very easily if sex is not normally satisfied.

I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny.

All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.

My sons the same, hes terribly funny. Its a wonderful power to have. Its also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming. You can say the most astonishing things if youre funny. You can tell a woman that shes irresistibly attractive, but do it in such a funny way.

I was raised to believe that sex was shameful, that you should only have sex when you're married. I'm so glad that I didn't listen to that advice.

There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.

I got great sex education, and I always knew that if I wanted to be sexually active, I had to have safe sex.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

Sex is the sacred song of the soul; Sex is the sanctuary of Self.

Even in the era of AIDS, sex raises no unique moral issues at all. Decisions about sex may involve considerations about honesty, concern for others, prudence, and so on, but there is nothing special about sex in this respect, for the same could be said of decisions about driving a car. (In fact, the moral issues raised by driving a car, both from an environmental and from a safety point of view, are much more serious than those raised by sex.)

I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'.

Most of the sex I've seen on the screen looks like an expression of hostility towards sex.

I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know it. He was a naturally funny character, and when my brother and I would laugh at things he said and did, he would say, 'What do you think is so funny?'

I believe that the love of same-sex couples is every bit as valuable as that of opposite-sex couple.

Definitely that was a big part of my childhood: wanting to fit. As an immigrant, you talk funny, you look funny, you smell funny. I wanted to do nothing but fit in and talk English and sit with everybody else.