Top 286 Monkeys Quotes & Sayings

We are consciousness. We may not always be monkeys.

You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone.

On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You'd be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem is, most monkey stories end tragically.

Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

For talking monkeys to speak of truth is hubris of the highest degree. Where is it writ large that talking monkeys should be able to model the cosmos? If a sea urchin or a racoon were to propose to you that it had a viable truth about the universe, the absurdity of that assertion would be self-evident, but in our case we make an exception.

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

I don't find monkeys inherently funny.

For God’s sake, let us be men not monkeys minding machines or sitting with our tails curled while the machine amuses us, the radio or film or gramophone. Monkeys with a bland grin on our faces.

If evolution works, why are monkeys still around?

Humans in space suits make monkeys nervous.

Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.

So what if man's body evolved from the monkeys? Whether he came from monkeys or fish is unimportant. The important idea is that when the body became "human" enough, the first human soul slipped into it.

You monkeys only think you're running things.

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.

Don't sell your soul to buy peanuts for the monkeys.

People said that he was very nice, but I confess that his utter grotesqueness made me uneasy; perhaps in the same way that the sight of monkeys eating their own excrement turns some people’s stomachs. They might not mind so much if monkeys did not- so grotesquely- resemble human beings.

We've just barely stopped being monkeys.

Some tribes [of monkeys] have taken to washing potatoes in the river before eating them, others have not. Sometimes migrating groups of potato-washers meet non-washers, and the two groups watch each other's strange behavior with apparent bewilderment. But unlike the inhabitants of Lilliput, who fought holy crusades over the question at which end to break the egg, the potato-washing monkeys do not go to war with the non-washers, because the poor creatures have no language which would enable them to declare washing a diving commandment and eating unwashed potatoes a deadly heresy.

Green Day is politically brain-dead but I love the little monkeys.

When you are brought up in a zoo, you know what's going on in the monkey house. You see a couple of monkeys loose and one is President and one is Vice President, you know it's trouble. Monkeys make trouble.

Even monkeys fall from trees.

You know what, evolution is a myth. ... Why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

He was having more fun than a barrelful of monkeys.* *Several years earlier Spider had actually been tremendously disappointed by a barrelful of monkeys. It had done nothing he had considered particularly entertaining, apart from emit interesting noises, and eventually, once the noises had stopped and the monkeys were no longer doing anything at all—except possibly on an organic level—had needed to be disposed of in the dead of night.

Some say that AIDS came from the monkeys, and I doubt that because we have been living with monkeys from time immemorial, others say it was a curse from God, but I say it cannot be that.

he thoughtless knowers will call you a red or a communist or a capitalist or some name that expresses their aversion to any mental activity. But somebody must take a chance. The monkeys did who became men, and the monkeys who didn't are still jumping around in the trees making faces at us monkeys who did.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

My mother went to a school called 'The Club of the Three Wise Monkeys'. And my grandmother, my father's mother, had a gold charm for her made with the speak no, see no, hear no evil monkeys. And I was fascinated by that charm. I'd sit in my mother's lap and play with it all the time.

People have always called me Schneider Monkey just because of my energy and mass consumption of bananas. Plus, I just love monkeys, so I thought, 'Well, I love monkeys, I love my fans, why not put the two together?'

We made it nearly 20 centuries, a bunch of monkeys with PH Ds.

Cats and monkeys; monkeys and cats; all human life is there.

Watch them clamber, these swift monkeys! They clamber over one another and thus drag one another into the mud and the depth. They all want to get to the throne: that is their madness — as if happiness sat on the throne. Often, mud sits on the throne — and often the throne also on mud. Mad they all appear to me, clambering monkeys and overardent. Foul smells their idol, the cold monster: foul, they smell to me altogether, these idolators.

I really like the Gorillaz and Arctic Monkeys.

We're the weirdest monkeys ever.

Someone once said that if you sat a million monkeys at a million typewriters for a million years, one of them would eventually type out all of Hamlet by chance. But when we find the text of Hamlet, we don't wonder whether it came from chance and monkeys. Why then does the atheist use that incredibly improbable explanation for the universe? Clearly, because it is his only chance of remaining an atheist. At this point we need a psychological explanation of the atheist rather than a logical explanation of the universe.

I have cats, dogs, monkeys and ducks at home - it's like a mini zoo.

We are all just monkeys with money and guns.

Slavery is an institution for converting men into monkeys.

If you pay peanuts, you wind up hiring monkeys.

No one is out to get you. It's just that... people are monkeys.

The puma is, with the exception of some monkeys, the most playful animal in existence.

No, monkeys are still having babies, why don't they have another human today?

Dogs, monkeys, and parrots are a thousand times less miserable than we are.

I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.

Probably the difference between man and the monkeys is that the monkeys are merely bored, while man has boredom plus imagination.

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?

I love the Arctic Monkeys!

Even monkeys fall out of trees.

When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches.

As a fan, when I hear that a film is going to be turned into a television show, I do go to that place immediately of, 'Is it going to be any good? Is it going to be a waste of time? Why are they doing it?' It's '12 Monkeys,' and '12 Monkeys' is awesome, so I wanted to be a part of it and work on it.

I don't envy guards. They're quick little monkeys, those guys.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

I really don't like monkeys.

Some determined advocates of the vegetable system maintain, that the teeth and stomach of the monkey correspond, in structure, very closely with that of man, yet it lives on fruits - therefore if man followed nature, he would live on fruits and vegetables. But though the anatomical likeness between man and monkeys is striking, yet it is not complete; the difference may be and doubtless is precisely that which makes a difference of diet necessary to nourish and develope their dissimilar natures. Those who should live as the monkeys do would most closely resemble them.

Evolution isn't true, because if we evolved from monkeys, how can they still be here?

Nor do I think we came from monkeys, by the wayThat's another piece of garbage. What the hell's it based on? We couldn't've come from anything-fish, maybe, but not monkeys. I don't believe in the evolution of fish to monkeys to men. Why aren't monkeys changing into men now? It's absolute garbage. It's absolutely irrational garbage, as mad as the ones who believe the world was made only four thousand years ago, the fundamentalists.

Im thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, Why stop at one? I don't like being limited in that way. Therefore, I'm considering a platton of monkeys, so that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around.

We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

The show is '12 Monkeys,' and I'm playing the role that Bruce Willis played in the original film '12 Monkeys.' It is a show about time travel. My character is from a future post-apocalypse, and he has been given a mission to go back in time to essentially set things right and stop the apocalypse. No big deal.

I wish Monkeys could Skype. Maybe one day.