A Quote by Debora Spar
You have to learn to say no not just to things you don't want to do, you have to say no to things that you want to do, things that are good to do. You have to realize that every time you say yes to one thing you've got to take something else off the plate. Critically, I think you have to realize that it's easier to say no than to say maybe.
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As you get older, you mellow, but there's a natural propensity to watch what you say, 'cause you learn that you want more time and space to craft what you want to say because you're less likely to want to say impetuous things, or things that aren't thought-out properly.
When you're young you say things you maybe regret, I have been there and I am sure every player has, you say something you wish you hadn't and you learn from these things.
I have a tough time beating around the bush and just saying something you want to hear. I kind of say it how it is, even if I don't realize that's maybe not what I should say at the moment.
I get a lot of e-mail messages from people who say thanks for giving them a place to vent, an outlet to say what they can't say in real life with friends and work colleagues - things that they know are wrong, but they still want to say. Is it right? No, of course not. People say some disgusting, vile things.
Words have power. The things that you say to yourself as a parent - the things that you say maybe even just one time to your children - they take it, and they take it into their real world and into their life and beyond.
I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.
It's very hard, I think, for critics to write positive reviews, because there's not that much to say about something you like. You can kind of say 'I really like that band' and then if you're forced to fill up the rest of an article, you've got to start saying heady things. It's much easier to say negative things in a review.
I do have rules, and etiquette things. I think it's a southern thing too, to an extent. I'll hold the door for someone, but if they don't say, "Thank you," it pisses me off. I say, "Yes, ma'am," and, "Yes, sir." Stuff that is maybe archaic in a lot of ways, but that's how I was raised, and I don't think there's really any harm in that.
I think I'm drawn to more villain-type characters, because it's so cool to get to say all the things you want to say. In Hollywood, you get to this position where you have to bite your tongue so much. You take all your experiences of not being able to say what you really want to say, and channel that through your character.
You know, we spend so much of our lives not saying the things we want to say. The things we should say. We speak in code, we send little messages. Origami. So now, plainly, simply. I want to say that I love you both.
You should not do an autobiography if you want to tell the truth. There are a lot of things I know about people. If I can't say something good about a person, I don't want to say anything. And since I don't want to say anything bad, I won't write a book.
As soon as you start to think of that thing that you want to convey or say, you can always just say it much better than you can actually rhyme it or stuff it into a song. It's very, very difficult to just kind of get your point across without going the back way. And you have to be good at that, to not think about things so hard. Let the pen take over, so that it's somebody else's job to dissect the lyrics and tell you what you're all about.
Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace. I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. I won't have any money to leave behind. I won't have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave behind. But I just want to leave a committed life behind. And that's all I want to say.
Not to want to say, not to know what you want to say, not to be able to say what you think you want to say, and never to stop saying, or hardly ever, that is the thing to keep in mind, even in the heat of composition.
Look, I'm not a perfect person. I have my warts. I sometimes say things that get me in trouble. I wear suits that are cheap. But I say what I think and I believe what I say, and I'm willing to say things that are not popular but ordinary people know are right.
As a woman now, I want to share things. I have girlfriends in their twenties, and I say, "Ask me anything. You can learn from the things I did wrong, and you can learn from the things you think I'm doing right. Take whatever you want and make it your own."
