A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
Related Quotes
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
I don't like to guess. Just react. Some guys are guess hitters. I just could never do it. If you guess and guess wrong, you have no shot of hitting anything else.
I used to prefer cash but I'm more and more drawn to cards because with certain cards you get the full lists which you can then pass on to your accountant so you don't have to do the whole receipt, receipt, receipt thing as it's all itemised.
If you ever loved anything in your life, try to remember it. If you ever betrayed anything, pretend for a moment that you have been forgiven. If you ever feared anything, pretend for an instant that those days are gone and will never return. Buy the lie and hold to it for as long as you can. Press your familiar, whatever its name, to your breast and stroke it till it purrs.
I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!
With any body shape it's important to buy the right size and not be dictated to by size you think you are. Try on a bigger and a smaller size in the shop and see what fits visually. If you do have to go up a size, cut the label out, it's just a number!
At my worst, I was a size 22, and at that size, you can't go down the high street and buy yourself things that make you feel good. Your shopping options are limited in a way they aren't when you are a size 12.
When the masters of industry pay such sums for a newspaper, they buy not merely the building and the presses and the name; they buy what they call the "good-will"- that is, they buy you. And they proceed to change your whole psychology - everything that you believe about life. You might object to it, if you knew; but they do their work so subtly that you never guess what is happening to you!
He laughed, and it raised goose-bumps on my arms. "Oh,ma petite ,ma petite , you are precious." Just what I wanted to hear. "So how are you getting here?" "My private jet." Of course, he had a private jet. "When can you be here?" "I will be there as soon as I can, my impatient flower." "I prefer ma petite to flower.
The size of your key ring is the size of your headaches. Si Redd once told me, "Every time you buy something you sell a piece of yourself." Why? Because you have to maintain it, to insure it, to worry about it. So the more you buy, the more you sell a piece of yourself and pretty soon you get so thin you can't do anything. So get rid of all those things and get back to the basics. Everybody has his own basics: it's what he enjoys. Si Redd told me I would "arrive" when I got down to one key. Still working on that!
Never let your wife prevent you from buying equipment. A car will not buy a synthesizer, but a synthesizer can buy a car.
Clothes that are too tight make you look bigger. If you've been trying to shed pounds, and it doesn't go, buy the next size up. I never care what size my clothes are.
The agent never receipts his bill, puts his hat on and bows himself out. He stays around forever, not only for as long as you can write anything that anyone will buy, but as long as anyone will buy any portion of any right to anything that you ever did write. He just takes ten per cent of your life.
What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country saying 'Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that's what I'm hearing.' Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life.
I'm a hopeless romantic. I buy things because I fall in love with them. I never buy anything just because it's valuable.
Don't let your image, don't let your size, hold you back. If I had let my hips or my jiggly thighs hold me back or the fact that I've got these big heavy breasts, then I would not be where I am today.
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